I need my 1 year old to sleep through the night

[Magik8ball]

Hi all.

My little ones are currently 2 and 1
I co-sleep with both but I put them to bed hours before I go to sleep.
The 1 year old is breastfed (hardly at night anymore) but he keeps waking.
It's getting really stressful, I just want an evening to myself, they spend all day being super clingy.

I'm thinking of moving them into their own room now and weaning breastfeeding completely rather than just at night.

Can anyone share their experience of similar situations? (Their dad is often away for work so he's not a support option)

I feel your pain. I've been there. Don't assume that weaning will solve the problem. Quite a few of my friends weaned and then found that their child kept waking, the only difference was that now it was harder to get them back to sleep.

Have you tried giving them supper just before bed? Randomly wholemeal toast with banana and almond butter is particularly good for sleep

Firstly huge congrats for feeding both of your children for two years! 💐💐
yes I’d night and day wean if you want to stop
Moving to their own room sounds good especially if there’s very little feeding happening at night
the days are easier distraction works and light bribery (!)
implemenr a solid nighttime routine with bed and bath and story
if they want a cup of milk I’d do that but no breast or bottle
i weaned when my DD was three and it was ok - told her my boobs didn’t make milk anymore and she could choose a little treat instead (a dolly as she was a big girl)
find a method which you’re happy with but then stick to it

Your youngest may be waking from habit and can smell your milk?
look at gradual retreat - its gentle and no crying
takes a few nights
I totally understand re wanting your evenings back - sometimes I felt utterly touched out / overwhelmed.

Yeah I was hoping night weaning would solve it haha, he wakes up less but still wakes frequently.
Could be the fact that I'm not there but I was hoping his brother would be enough comfort🤣

I do give them dinner before bed but I'll look into meals that are really filling.

Look for foods that naturally contain tryptophan and magnesium as both promote sleep.

Is he teething? That can cause havoc with sleep.

I found that my children stopped waking up once I was firm on the boundary of resettling them in their own rooms. It's harder in the short term because it takes more effort to get them back to sleep there but it does work (IME). With my older two I didn't do it until later and they were about 2.5 when they slept through. With the youngest I started when he was about 1 and he was sleeping more reliably by 18 months although not always fully through, but he did sleep through most nights.

It's not uncommon for 1 year olds to still wake at night and as a PP said, night weaning may not make any impact. Moving them into their own room also may or may not make a difference, it's impossible to predict. I night weaned my baby at 13 months and she moved from a cot in our room to her own room at 18 months, but still didn't sleep through the night regularly until just before her second birthday (not triggered by any change on our part, happened out of nowhere).

I would make sure you have a reliable way to get them back to sleep at night (back rub, singing etc). I would also have a think about your 1 year old's sleep schedule, as it may be they don't need as much sleep anymore and tweaking their schedule e.g. implementing a later bedtime or an earlier wake time and/or reducing daytime naps may help them to achieve better overnight sleep. Depends on how much sleep they currently have in 24 hours and how easily or not they currently go to sleep for naps and bed.

Once I moved mine into their le rooms they fed much less anyway without me needing to do much at all.

Thank you love🥺🧡
I originally was going to breastfeed for longer too but everything is extremely tough right now with these two and something has to give.
That and my Breastfeeding aversion has come back. He's 16 months now.

As of getting him back to sleep, it took a while but he now accepts me rocking him back to sleep (sometimes he fights it a little but nothing major, most of time at least)
It still takes time though and it happens several times i just want a second to breathe again.

I stopped breastfeeding my son last August when he was around 15 months old. He’s now two and still doesn’t sleep through the night. I feel your pain

Their dad did buy milk of magnesia but I was hesitant to use it. Maybe I'll rethink it.

I saw something today that made me think he might teething but will check properly tomorrow.

I reduced him to one nap a day already. I rock him to put him back to sleep, it works but it's exhausting, i have back problems. I need things to change

Okay I will definitely have a look at that! Because I want him to self soothe a bit without all the CIO

If you don’t want to stop breastfeeding I’d agree to set the boundary of no milk at night. They don’t need it anymore at this age and can eat/drink more in the day. Once their tummy adjusts to eating/drinking in the day (like us) then it’ll be easier. My nearly 14 month old is still breastfeeding but sleeps through - excluding maybe 3-4 teething/illness quick 30 min wake ups (then back to bed) at 6am in the last 2 months. I don’t say that to brag, just to show that good sleep doesn’t have to be the end of breastfeeding. We always did a dream feed when they were younger (about 10.30pm) and only dropped it about 2 months. So with the dream feed it was 8-8 (with 10.30/11 feed) and now it’s just 8-8 sleep.

One nap a day is fine, but it's also about overall number of hours of sleep in a 24 hour period. At this age the average sleep needs would be for 11-14 hours in every 24 hours so if for example you were trying to get him down for 12 hours overnight plus a 2 hour nap the frequent waking at night could be caused by aiming for more total sleep in 24 hours than is needed (although it isn't really clear from what you have posted how many times per night he is waking anyway). So as I say trying to reduce total amount of sleep in small increments may help. But I would be mentally prepared that he may take some time to get to the point of actually sleeping solidly all through the night regardless and not have your heart set on that immediately.