Anyone moved a 2 yr old to their own room after co-sleeping?

[suiledonn]

My dd has just turned 2 and has been co-sleeping with us since she was 5 months old. I have loved having her close to me (most of the time) but now I am 14 weeks pregnant and dh has been suffering from back problems so I think the time has come to move her out of our bed. I suffered from bad anxiety after she was born and I have improved a lot since then but I still have a mental block about her being in her own room at night. I am from a large family and didn't sleep in a room alone until I went away to university so it doesn't seem natural to me. I was thinking of trying to move her to a bed in our room but my sister thinks this will make things harder on her in the long term and that it would be better to make a clean break now. I really don't want to turn her life upside down. Has anyone been through similar or have any advice for me?

Ds was nearly 3 when he went to his own room and we had to put some work into it tbh
I think the bed in your room is a good idea - 2 is not a great time to be making large changes
it sounds like your sister probably doesn't get co-sleeping or approve of it - this is very common
you know your dd best and can make the best decisions about what is right for her
the other possibility is just to get a larger and more comfortable bed!

Thanks Franny - you are right about my sister. She can't tolerate her dc's in the bed with her. We already have a king size bed so not sure how much bigger we could go. I asked her where we will all sleep when we have the baby and she says mummy there, then her, then the baby, then daddy so she thinks we should sll be in the bed together. Probably because she doesn't know what a cot is!

I think a little bed for her on the floor is a good idea
we have got superking size PLUS a queen size bed and ds still got too big and wriggly for my liking, but some people enjoy it for longer than others
have you had any help for the anxiety as it is a shame to be worrying when she does eventually go to her own room?

I went to see a counsellor a few times which helped a lot. It just seems odd to me that the smallest, most vulnerable member of the family should be on their own. I am a worrier though and most people I know think I am mad. They just say 'what could possibly happen to her across the hall'. I don't have an answer for that. I'm just going on my instincts.

No I agree that it is odd to make tiny babies sleep by themselves when we adults don't like it
but we are in the minority here so let's not push it

ok so it is just like a strong protective instinct, I thought you meant perhaps something less normal, when you said anxiety
I felt very odd when ds went into his own room
sometimes I still think he should be in with us!
but it suits me to have him sleep in his room now if I am being honest
I think the day may come when you feel the same - or your dd will ask for her own room

I think your instincts are perfectly reasonable. I've never understood ... well, I do actually, but anyway ... why on earth people in this country treat instinct as a terrible inconvenience that robs women of their senses. Instinct is what's got our species thus far, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I haven't got any experience to offer but I think only you will know if your DD is ready to move all the way into another room yet. When she truly is ready you will probably feel less anxious too.

When she was younger it was more serious. I was in a constant state of panic and worry for months. As she got older I got a lot better but eventually admitted I had a problem so I saw the counsellor.

Hi there,

We co-sleep with our DC, have done since they were born. We have had to change sleeping arrangements though so now DS1 aged 2.5 (almost) sleeps with me in one room, and DS2 aged 15mths sleeps with DH in other room and as i'm nearing 30weeks (congrats on ur PG btw) i tend to just sleep in spare room often with DH as the boys are quite happy now to be settled and left alone. I tried moving DS1 into his own bed but found it was going to be stressful for him, with having gone through 2 pregnancies with me at such a young age didn't feel he needed anymore change, hope that makes sense.
In saying all of that both boys seem to settle well now and we can sneak off once fast asleep, the odd cuddle or drink during the night and they are fine - i think that DS1 will be ready to sleep alone before newborn arrives but in the same bed, it is where he is comfortable.
Good luck btw. Love the idea of king size bed and smaller bed in room, unfortunately our bedrooms are not very big hence the sleeping arrangments. x

I have coslept with all of mine and still am with my 2 year old. We are about to move house in July and I'm thinking of buying her her own bed. She will share a bedroom with her brother for around a couple of years. I will start off by putting her in her own bed to sleep but I'm pretty sure that when she wakes in the night that she will make her way to our bed. This is what has happened with my other two.

When dd2 was born 2 years ago ds slept in the bottom bunk with his older sister on the top bunk in their own bedroom. He still came into our room in the middle of the night though which I was pretty scared about as I didn't want him lying on top of dd2. I find it very easy to get back to sleep after breastfeeding in the night so sometimes I didn't notice ds coming into the bed in the night. What I ended up doing was telling ds that he had to sleep between mummy and daddy and not at the side of the bed. When dd2 wanted to breastfeed on my left side meaning that she would be between me and daddy and potentially ds I decided that the safest thing to do was actually sleep 'upside down' in the bed. I just moved my pillow to the bottom of the bed so in that way dd2 was always on the side of the bed with a protector rail. Luckily dd2 only wanted to feed a couple of times during the night so I didn't have to switch positions too many times.

When ds was born and dd1 was 4 years old and in her own room, I actually felt that dd1 felt left out so in the end I moved her single bed into our room right next to our bed. We had a superking size bed and a single bed in the same room. The room was just beds. I felt a lot better though and she was happy too. We then bought a bunk bed for them both and they both moved into their own bedroom a couple of years later.

Maybe you could buy a cot and put it next/attach it to your bed (or a single bed) so she can still be close to you. It all depends on the size of your room though and whether you don't mind her still in the room with you.

Just to add, don't worry about what others think. It's none of their business. I wouldn't even bother discussing it with anyone in RL unless you know they'll be positive about your decision to carry on cosleeping with both dc's (if that's what you want). This is not really a time for you to be anxious so maybe it's best to try and keep her in your room with you. That's what she is expecting too.

Just make sure that all beds are secure and there are no gaps to fall into at all (really don't mean to be patronising there).

F&Z a superking AND a queen? Can I move in please? We have a double and that's pushed next to the wall. Cosy when ds (2.5) gets in - every night...

OP - no advice but good luck and def only do what's good for you. Maybe the bed in your room would make it exciting for her - sort of adventure? You might have a few nights/weeks of having to return her to the bed until she is used to it I suppose.

the entire room is bed - futons on the floor
ds and friends love it as it makes a fantastic place to wrestle, jump and do somersaults

I want an entire room that is bed! I'm gonna have to move into the wendy house.

double