My ex has decided to ask for more time with his children after initially accusing me of withholding the children in an argument. Ironically the argument was because he has refused to take care of his kids during medical emergencies and has repeatedly been inconsistent. I pointed out to him that I have always been willing to to discuss changes but he must provide his work rota and be consistent. For the past year he has refused this and has prioritised going out and his relationship over the children. But now has finally agreed to provide it.
I said we can agree three nights a week and adjust his child maintenance accordingly. I said he must stick to agreed days and if ge wants to go out and do other things on his days with the kids he must still have them and arrange his own child care.
he has already responded to tell me him and his partner both work and he is entitled to time with her. I said of course you are, but you must sort that yourself as I have had to. Nope not good enough. He expects to be able to drop the kids on his addition days and has already dropped an entire week in June to spend with his gf. I asked him if he would be willing to take them an extra week for my partner and I to spend time together to make it fair, he said no.
he wants everything done on his terms and when I point out that it’s not fair he accuses me not respecting his relationship and personal choices.
I can tell this isn’t going to work. Would it be fair for me to take this to mediation? It’s also worth mentioning there is a history of financial and coercive abuse. He made me and the children homeless to move his gf in and the past year has been hell.