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I’M LOSING MY MIND

5 replies

Amyharkss · 02/05/2025 21:07

I need help, or to know if anyone’s ever gotten out of the other side of this

my children (3 & 1) will not go to sleep for my husband, which means I can be trying to get them to sleep for my entire night.

my 3 year old will do her usual toilet, teeth and story, which she will let my partner do sometimes, but when it comes to the actual sleep part she refuses and he ends up caving and reading more stories and getting stuck in there until I come in and say it’s time for sleep.

the 1 year old has never slept through, to get him to fall asleep every night I have to hold his hand in the cot (don’t tell me this is the problem, I’m aware it’s an issue but you would do the same just to get them to bloody sleep). He will not let my partner put him down, he just screams and screams until I come into the room.

some nights I work until 8pm, their bedtime is 7, when I come home I then have to do bedtime with them both. It just doesn’t feel fair that I’m doing it all every night, but when my husband asks to swap I just say no because I know it’s going to take longer.
he’s not very authoritative with our 3 year old and she practically walks all over him, I tell him this is the issue and when he caves over everything I say this is why she never listens to you.

how on earth do I stop this so I can share this load because it’s becoming too much and I can feel my temper rising everytime they don’t go to sleep straight away and I don’t want to become that parent

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ToKittyornottoKitty · 02/05/2025 21:10

Stop going into the room. Just stop it. Go out of the house if you need to. Your husband is your partner not your child, remind yourself and him of this and stop going in. He is a grown adult and a father, he will work it out when he has to. I’d honestly say going out is the easiest way to start off with. Find a gym class that starts at 7pm or something

shalamakooky · 02/05/2025 21:41

Google Ferber method

Kattuccino · 02/05/2025 21:56

If he's offering to put them to bed, just let him do it! Nothing will change otherwise. It might take longer. But after the first night it will get easier.

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Eachpeachpearprune · 02/05/2025 21:57

Why is there two of the same thread?

Impostersyndicate · 02/05/2025 22:42

You're making the problem worse every time you wade in and take over.

Interesting that you think he's a pushover where the dd is concerned because you also seem to be riding roughshod over his attempt to parent his own child his way.

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