9 year old DD doesn't like the hairs on her legs

[Daxiecrazy]

Hi Ladies,

So my 9 year old DD spoke to me last night and she said she hates the hairs on her legs. She asked if she was going to be as hairy as daddy (extremely hairy man!) and told me she hated it.

Of course I told her it's completely normal, explained hormones, puberty etc but I could still see that the hairs bothered her.
She's blonde so the hairs on her legs aren't dark however they are fairly hairy possibly due to her dad's genes. I told her about shaving/creams etc when she's older, however it made me think what age do I let her use hair removal creams etc?

I don't want her to be so uncomfortable now, but is 9 too young? What age did you all let your daughters start using them?

Thanks!

If she doesn't like the hair give her the means to get rid of it. Don't refuse

There are very light-skinned, fully Indian children too. But I’ve only ever heard of-seen young girls and grownup women and men getting their eyebrows threaded. Young boys must be a relatively newish trend.

While she shouldn't have to, if she wants to get rid of it I'd show her how. I was a bit older but remember being so horribly teased for my hairy legs when I started secondary school and my mum telling me I was too young to shave them. Next time she went out I stole her razor and did it anyway, getting quite a few cuts in the process.

I started bringing DD for an eyebrow and upper lip wax from about age 10. She has thick dark hair which is gorgeous on her head but not so great when it gives you a monobrow and a moustache. She also now at 12 shaves her legs in the warmer weather. Be guided by your daughter and don't make a big fuss about it

Thankyou for everyone's opinions, I did think they would be mixed!

That's what made me stop and think actually is 9 really too young because there is a chance of periods etc at this age. I definitely will not make her a 'torchbearer for body hair acceptance', I suppose I just see her as a little girl still when in actual fact, she's hitting puberty. I guess i thought i had longer with my girl before she started worrying about things like this!

I have told her it's completely normal, lots of girls her age will have hairs on their legs and it serves a purpose. But you are right, I won't let her feel uncomfortable, I want her to feel confident.

I will look into ordering a lady shaver, if anyone has any recommendations I would appreciate it as she does get bouts of eczema.

Thanks everyone x

Same here, I stored up my pocket money and got my friends to buy me a razor and then cut myself trying to use it. My mum was very opposed to me shaving but it felt like bodily autonomy.

Tricky, but I think I’d let her do it. I’d just let her do it with a fairly blunt razor. I wouldn’t buy her a new one as when they’re new they are more likely to cut her.

I was so self conscious as a teen as I had dark and thick hair.

My parents paid for laser the second I turned 18 and I am now hair free minus a few stragglers.

My youngest is as blond as can be but my eldest already has dark hair on her legs but so far hasn't bothered her.

I will be buying a home laser for them both until they can have the expensive version that keeps it permanently away.

Don’t make her feel like she has to stay as she is when it’s so easy to change. We aren’t talking about a nose job or liposuction. You want her to feel like you help her solve worries/concerns. Tell her it’s normal and why she has hair etc, but I’d also say if she wants you to help her remove it then you can.

Teach her how to remove it, using something like an electric lady-shave. I was too afraid even to raise this with my mum, as when I raised anything to do with growing up I was ridiculed. Eventually, I stole a razor from my Dad, a rather blunt one, and sliced my legs to ribbons. I kept that one stolen razor in the very back of a drawer well hidden, along with other forbidden contraband - a pair of tweezers for my eye-brows and a roll-on deodorant. Not being allowed to use deodorant was the worst - I felt so self-conscious with my wet shirts and smelliness at school, but, according to my mum, you didn't need deodorant if you washed properly.
You can also imagine the awkwardness and embarrassment I went through being the only 15 year old without a bra. Apparently I had "nothing there" and didn't need one. I definitely did have breasts and spent my entire academic year, no matter the temperature, hiding in a thick buttoned-up cardigan.

I also stole my dad’s razor and cut my legs so bad. My mum was massively against me shaving my legs and I was so self conscious. Now, as an adult I sometimes shave my legs and armpits, sometimes don’t.

This is so naive and ridiculous

Such a typical MN reply - both hilarious & ridiculous! Not everything needs to be about feminism.

I would probably use a hair removal cream unless there are concerns about kids using them. I haven't fully looked into yet but my DD9 is starting to get some hair so do need to do some research in case she starts asking.

I would support her in shaving/removal creams when she ask as I wouldn't want her to feel uncomfortable or not confident within herself

I agree that it is better to love and care for your body as it is, however that isn't the realy world is it and schools can be such a cruel place. I would love nothing more for her not to worry about how she looks, especially at this age, but the majority of children, pre-teens, teens even adults have things they don't like, it's how we manage it.

I've told her it's perfectly normal and has a purpose, but I was bullied throughout school (redhead) and if I can do anything to stop her experiencing that I will.

I've ordered her a Phillips lady shaver, going to have another chat with her tonight and go from there. If she says she's happy and comfortable then I will put it away for another time, if not I will teach her how to use it.

Thanks all for your responses! I hoped for longer before she would deal with these things but maybe I'm naive!

P.s, no internet access unless it's for school work or to research something shes interested in for someone who asked 😊

What's the issue. Get her some veet and show her how to use it. My DD was 10 when she started. Why prolong and cause her upset.

Also, I'm really sorry for the ladies that had to deal with these issues on their own. I'm doing my best to make sure she doesn't feel how some of you did x

Has she said why? That’s what would be important for me to know. It’s not about being a torchbearer it’s about being comfortable in your own skin.

If she is being teased about it, that’s an entirely different conversation to have with her than if she says it feels uncomfortable, itchy etc.

My daughter is 15 and has only had her legs shaved after she was in a cast for 6 weeks and the hair was really thick after we took it off. Apart from that she isn’t bothered, doesn’t see the point. I started doing it a lot younger because I hated the feeling of hair on tights and trousers.

I think you’ve made the right choice by helping.

Sometimes a new phase like this appears out of nowhere and you’re reminded that they are growing up fast. 💐

The mothers in our family have all struggled at one point or another with their kids growing up and becoming young adults it seems to be a common theme that you think you have longer before they start to grow up.

The one whose son googled boobs had a right go at her dh.

I have cats so I swerved all of this.

My DD has been using a battery shaver since 9yo with no issues

Epilation!

My daughter had hairy legs/ arms/ under arms/ public hair and facial hair age 8/ 9.
At 10 she expressed she didn't like it.. we went to buy a lady shave with facial attachments.. ( turns out she has PCOS).. But she was so much happier once she started shaving.
( she's 30 now).

We had little mitts when I was that age, sort of like sandpaper! 😂

Sounds awful but they were gentle and got rid of hairs.

DD went though phases of not liking her hairy legs but it always passed, and she never really wanted to do anything about it (and no one at school ever mentioned it - as I reminded her, no one else ever sees these things as much as we see them ourselves), so nothing happened until we went on a big 3 week holiday when she was 14 and I took her to have them waxed, and now she shaves them sporadically.

I started shaving my legs when I was 11 due to having my leg in plaster for 9 weeks and ending up with thick black hair on one leg. But once you start you can’t stop, so I would see if she continues being bothered or if it’ll pass.