No play dates..

[Gemsies]

My daughters only 3 but she has yet to go on a play date. I take her to nursery 3 days a week, weekly play group session and to my church's play groups so she is getting to meet and play with other children, but I'm starting to worry about her.. she was so tearful and clingy when I dropped her at nursery this morning.. and it's nice that she plays with children at these groups but, some of these children are friends, they have been talking about going to each others houses I think as when I picked her up the other day she was saying something about Max says I cant come play at his house but Julie (nursery's nurses name) say I can come play at hers 😟 was noteworthy to me just coz she mentioned a couple names and I often ask her 'how was nursery, what did you do?' And she doesn't answer usually or just says 'play'.
The other Mums don't seem interested in talking to me, it's okay, I'm 40 now and I haven't had friends since my 20s so I expected more of the same but now it's affecting my daughter.. I get to the school gate and they're huddled together talking and so she is left out too.
Last couple times I dropped my daughter in she was all excited because we walked to nursery with another parent and she got to walk alongside her classmate and was all pleased. It's nice she plays at nursery/church with others but she's really missing out on having a friend experience and she throws terrible tantrums now when I pull her away from say, playing with a kid we've met at the street and sometimes I say we need to go and she says 'okay' in such a sad voice i've started crying right now as I'm writing...
I don't know what to do..I hate to confess this but I'm on a Methodome script so I presume that maybe I'm down as someone to stay well away from and it's affecting my daughter. I have tried to introduce myself just last week but (and I've had this twice now it's weird) the Mum said she had met me at the park before and strange as it sounds I'm sure I haven't.. anyway, just said so sorry I can't remember and nice to see you again and next time I see her (today) she is in her circle and daughter and I are stood alone and my daughter started crying.. anyway maybe she was tired today but the nursery told me she was tearful a couple days ago too. I don't know what to do or does it really matter if she doesn't have play dates/the friend experience. I'm a bit sad about it all really, I'd literally pay someone at this point just to come to our home for half an hour or to play at there's for half an hour just so she can have that experience.
Oh and my partner just for the record (her father) says I am mentally ill, and need taking away from her for worrying about it and I should go.

I don’t think play dates are at all the norm at this age except if you happen to have a friend who has a child of the same age. Because you don’t drop and leave yet, and most people don’t want to have to sit around and make small talk with a random for 2 hours.

Before either of mine were 5/6, they didn’t have play dates with just any old random friend from nursery or school. Only maybe a handful of times with children of our friends when we met up with them. So please don’t feel like you are awkward or not fitting in or doing something wrong.

That said, you do sound very stressed and scattered and that isn’t going to be good for you or your dd. Do you have support in real life?

At the stay and play sessions, do you chat to the other mums? Could you ask or invite for a play date there? Sometimes you just need to take the bull by the horns - ‘Oh DD and Olivia are playing so nicely together - it would be lovely to have her round for a play date if you fancied?’ And then depending on response: ‘Great, when are you free?’

But it sounds like she’s getting plenty of time with other kids, so I wouldn’t feel like you’re letting her down or anything like that. Do you think maybe it’s more about you and that you feel a bit lonely and like you want to be part of that kind of ‘group’?

I wouldn't expect play dates at this age honestly! Playing with children at nursery and in the park is totally normal. Luckily I have friends with similar aged children so we meet up sometimes but if it wasn't for that I wouldn't bother!

I don't talk to the other mums at preschool either, I say hello, good morning blah blah but don't stop to chat.

Surely no one knows about the methadone?

Also, your partner sounds extremely unsupportive. Suggesting she should be taken away from you is an absolutely horrendous thing to say. Are you safe in the relationship?