Holiday with newborn

[nerf54]

We are due to be going on a UK family holiday with parents, siblings etc (approx 10 of us, plus 3 kids) this summer. If all goes to plan with my due date my newborn will be 2 weeks old. It’s been planned for a long time and we would like to attend still so thinking practically of anything that may help with “holidaying” with a newborn. I know I won’t be expected to help out with anything if I’m not feeling up to it as we are self catering and there are enough people to pitch in with entertaining the kids, cooking etc.

any recommendations on travel cots suitable for newborns that ideally fold down easily and compact? If there is such a thing?

Any other tips? We will be travelling 2-3 hours by car. Tia

are you planning a vaginal birth? I'm just asking because for example, mt DC2 was born 11 days after my due date, so I definitely couldn't have gone on holiday 3 days later. Have you considered that?

Also, newborns are recommended not to be kept in car seats for more than 30 minutes at a time. So, your journey is going to end up a lot longer, if you account for stopping for awhile every half hour.

If you do go, the easiest sleep solution will be your pram, if you buy one where the bassinet is safe for overnight sleeping.

I've got to be honest OP though, I have 3 children and I can't imagine doing anything like this with any of them less than 4 weeks old. Mostly due to my own physical recovery needsl/exhaustion nd establishing breastfeeding though, not because of the baby per se.

Is this your first baby? I think you are being optimistic with this plan. But I would advise budgeting for take aways rather than cooking, buying a light weight cotton robe that you can throw on to be comfortable in and checking wear the outside bins are so you can easily dispose of nappies not inside the holiday cottage.

Are you insane?

you might get lucky and bounce right back from an easy birth. You might get lucky and have an easy baby.

you also might be cut from hip to hip and still barely able to sit up. You might be bleeding and leaking milk and just feel like you can’t get clean. You might have a baby that cries all the time. You might have a baby that has to go to the hospital for daily checks ups. You might need to be on a clock that is so out of sync with the rest at of society that you eat dinner at 3am and that seems perfectly normal.

What kind of accommodation are you staying in? Will you be separate from the rest of the family or all shared?

We did a UK break when our youngest was 6 weeks, it was prebooked too. If DC was born on time they would have been 2 weeks old and I'm not sure I could have gone in that situation. Being a few weeks older made a big difference.

I’d say this is quite ‘ambitious’ 😂. I would have hated to be in a strange place with a load of other people to consider and who were probably on a normal day/night cycle when mine were tiny: other people’s kids in particular will be hell. Noisy and disruptive to any plans you may have to catch up on sleep when your newborn has been awake from 11pm till 5am for several consecutive nights ;)

In many cultures mums hunker down for a month and are basically waited on hand, foot and finger. That’s how it should be!

I mean, I know of the odd person who took a baby to a festival and slept on a roll up mat when the baby was 10 days old and had a ball, but they are a vanishingly small minority.

Most babies won’t be keen on any sort of cot, Moses basket or bassinet for several weeks and sometimes never (!). It’s not the type of cot. It’s the not being close to you.

I'd have been fine with this at 2 weeks with both of mine, but I had planned sections, soI knew when they'd be born. With a vaginal birth it's more risky as you could go 2 weeks over.

I was craving getting out a lot, seeing people, going on day trips etc at 2 weeks so I'd have loved a holiday. Thinking about it, I think we did go and stay with family for a night or two at 2 weeks for my first and 3 weeks for my second. It was drama free enough that I'd forgotten until now.

We then went abroad when my second was 6 weeks old. We only waited that long so I could get signed off for insurance purposes after my section.

Given it's UK holiday, maybe hope to go, but let the group know you'll see how you feel.

Really think you need to go with the flow after your baby is born.

I took our 6 week old on a much looked forward to holiday for our 9 year old. Dad couldn’t come because of work but my mum stepped up. Nonetheless, I spent much of the time wishing we hadn’t gone. Accommodation wasn’t ideal and I felt really torn between the needs of baby and the needs of our oldest child.

If it's only two weeks after your due date you could be overdue and giving birth at that time! If you have an emergency C-section you also could still be in hospital or at home on bed rest and recovery.

Is it your first baby also? If it's a third you'll likely know a bit more how long you'll need at home to recover from the birth, but even so things can happen unexpectedly in labour. I was on round the clock antibiotics for about six weeks postpartum and unable to travel etc

Sorry, not a chance. The vulnerability alone post birth (nevermind the physical hit) would stop me from going. Couldn't stand the thoughts of this many people around baby and me when you're trying to find some semblance of normal. Not a good idea.
If you're adamant to go then I echo PP you must stop and take baby out of carseat every 30 mins and have somewhere to lie them flat and stretch out. I would bring whatever newborn crib you're using anyway. Make sure there's somewhere quiet and comfortable for you to be alone in wherever you're staying. You will likely need quiet time away from the crowd quite often. I had an unplanned c section and didn't find sitting in bed comfortable so think comfortable armchair.

I'm not going to comment on what you should or shouldn't do but if it's a car journey and overnight stay then you could look into getting a lie flat car seat. We have the nuna cari next and it's fab!! We've used it since birth as a car seat as you strap them in and because it's flat you don't have to stop as often (youll be feeding often enough so that would work as a stop) but also if you take out the straps etc (they all fit underneath) you can use it as an overnight carrycot for occasional sleep. We had our little one in it for overnignt sleep when we went away at 7 weeks. It's bulky but perfect for little one and these occasions

You’ll need to plan for lots of stops on the way, with a baby that young I’d avoid service stations with crowds and pick out places that are quiet with outside space. If you have a bassinet pram that is safe for sleeping then baby can sleep in that. I will say though, will it be much of a holiday for everyone (including yourself), if you are there 1-2 weeks after birth, still bleeding and sore, baby waking up many times in the night and probably needing to be held all night, learning to either breastfeed or bottles. Also the baby will likely still be having visits from the midwife or health visitor at that age, even if no issues.

I didn't leave my house for the first two weeks after giving birth with number 1. The thought of going on holiday would have broken me.

Echo the advice above. Also, whereas the baby would be fine in the bassinet or whatever, what about you? Strange bed, unknown facilities. Maybe we've been unlucky but the sofas in a holiday home are never as comfy as my sofa at home.

Presumably you are assuming the midwife visits will be over by then, but if not that is also an issue.

Edited to add pp just mentioned midwife visit. Life will change once you have a baby.

God OP you're brave. Is this your first?

I had a very straightforward birth with DC1 and stupidly got talked into a few days away when she was about 6 weeks. It honestly nearly killed me. Spent most of the time in my room sobbing whilst everyone passed my baby around downstairs like a doll. You will be SO exhausted anyway even if everything goes beautifully, you will NOT need a single thing to add to the tiredness. Like packing suitcases, loading the car, driving, stopping to get baby out the seat, nappy changes, feeds, finding a loo to change your maternity pads or your breast pads, Christ it literally never ends at that stage.

Is it an Airbnb? Can you let everyone else book and say you'll join them if you feel up to it? You might lose your money but trust me that'll be the last thing you care about.

You may have just given birth if late. Even if you have the baby on time you may still have stitches etc and you'll likely still be bleeding too. I'd say pre warn family you'll see how you feel, then just see how you feel. You may feel fine and go or you may feel awful and not want to go. Until you've had the baby as each birth is different you really won't know.
Also practically you'll still be early in with feeding, the baby can't travel far in the car seat etc just think about how reasonable it will be. You'll also be sleep deprived as baby won't be settled and going down well in their crib at two weeks old.
Personally I'd have already said I wouldn't be going but just see how you are good luck

Look up the maximum length of time in 24 hours that an infant should be in a car seat. It restricts their breathing and constricts their spine.

With one of my kids at two weeks old we still needed to be close to the hospital and breastfeeding group for jaundice, latch issues, oversupply etc. She also hated sleep so I was not in a fit state to travel.

With my second she was very healthy and breastfeeding went well from day 1 but I had a bad case of baby blues and was quite miserable for the three weeks. Also she was late so would have been days old at two weeks past her due date. We travelled when she was two months old and it was lovely.

If you really want to go I would schedule several hours for the drive. Make sure you are entirely comfortable with the other guests and that they will ask nothing of you and give you any support you'll need. Newborns can go in standard travel cots but if your pram is suitable for overnight sleep then that would be easier.

Thanks all for the replies! This is my second and so I completely understand things don’t always go to plan. My first was forceps and episiotomy with a house move that finally happened about a week after birth.

If we don’t go as I'm not feeling up to it etc then it’s not end of the world. I know my toddler would be well looked after and entertained if we do at least. How do I find if my bassinet pram is safe overnight?

If you can cope with a house move a week after a complicated (ouch!) birth and are still considering a holiday 2 weeks after this one, then that probably means you can risk going for it if you want!

A holiday will be nowhere near as stressful as moving house at least :-)

It won't be much of a holiday for the others, either, with a screeching newborn.

Mine said it in the description that it was safe sleep approved for overnight use. It has to lie completely flat and have a breathable mattress, probably some other features too I'm not totally sure. The manufacturers website should mention if it is approved.

@Upinthetreetops thank you, I’ll take a look!

Yes that’s true. I think the cottage we are staying luckily has all en-suites and “wing like areas” so hopefully won’t disturb the others too much.

I will speak to my midwife beforehand too about visits. My first had dropped weight so we had to do weigh ins every couple of days with them. If there are no issues, ideal weight etc how often do midwife visits happen, do you know? Thank you

If baby is fine then (unless anything has changed in the last few years) you'll be signed off on day 10 from the midwives. Health visitor is 10-14 days ish and then not until 6w.

Depending on how determined you are to make this work (honestly, not judgement either way from me) you could find out where the local weigh in clinic is on holiday if needs be.

Within reason, where there's a will there's a way, but that doesn't mean you need to find it unless you want to!

I wouldn't worry about disturbing others too much personally. IMO toddler is pretty much peak disruption and you've already got one of those 😁

Your updates are very good OP and having a toddler to entertain it makes more sense to go somewhere with a lot of help.

Sorry don't know about midwife visits. My DD recently had her first DC and the midwife gave extra visits for various reasons, but with baby no 2 you are a pro!