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Parenting

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How to help my 11 year old

2 replies

Gamingvice · 29/04/2025 16:30

Hello all,

After some advice - helpful words!

My 11 year old is struggling.
She is in year 6, about to do SATS and obvs head to secondary school so lots going on, she is an only child and we live very rurally - no neighbors etc but I try to have her friends over often. She does lots of clubs.

She has some habits she does when she is stressed/anxious - all of which we have managed over the years but recently it seems to be taking over her mind.

I found she had a thread on chat gpt on the computer talking about having bad thoughts about herself and harming herself. School then rang me today saying she had shared this too - and that she didn't want to talk to us because home was a safe space for her. She hadn't closed it.
School called me today saying she had asked to see the counselor - which happens fairly often. She said she has bad dreams, and bad thoughts and that she has had intrusive killing herself thoughts. She said she won't but has dreamed it.

I am a health practitioner- and so is my husband (won't say what) and we have lots of skills but I am unsure what to do here.

I know this doesn't matter but she lives a charmed life, we are very comfortable and happy so I guess there's a part of me that doesn't understand this.
There is and always has been a small element of attention seeking
she feels like she needs to fight to be seen at school because they are lots of kids in her year with various issues - I am worried she feels like she needs this.

I know that that's not how it works just trying to share everything to see if anyone has words of wisdom!

Thank you.

OP posts:
MamaBearOf3BraveAndAmazingGirls · 11/11/2025 21:18

As a teenager that lived a different kind of life (the opposite actually) but had those same issues i highly recommend some form of proper mental health work or getting a GP involved. I am now 31 no one saw my issues or tried to help and now it's very hard to get help with my mental health. I did attention seek as a child but I also didn't have a good situation or safe person. I did harm myself and tried to ❌ my life because no one was seeing that the attention seeking was me trying to ask for help, trying to get someone to see I wasn't okay. The way someone is raised or, what kind of life they have isn't always the cause for mental health it can be hormonal, hereditary, medical issue etc. please take her seriously because attention seeking isn't always about needing or wanting attention, could she being bullied is also another valid thing to look at. I hope you find a way to help her.

SleafordSods · 11/11/2025 21:48

If she’s being having problems for a while and had suicidal idealism, i think she needs some urgent help. The School Counsellor may be useful but I’m put experience they are usually under qualified, under paid and over worked.

Do any of her friends self-harm? And does she have access to the internet?

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