TOPTIPS needed ... going from 1 to 2

[DonnyLass]

Help

Have a 20 month old and one due in December ... already I'm in a tizz thinking about how to spin another plate!

I love being a mum and I'm really excited about double the fun ... gimme some toptips to shortcut the learning curve and be ready ...

If you usually do the bedtime routine with your lo, get your partner involved before the new baby comes, my DH took over bathing DS1, getting him ready for bed and reading him stories before DS2 was born, made it a lot easier when I went into hospital to have the baby and also afterwards

Get a bath support for the new baby if you want to bath them both together, keeps both hands free to stop the toddler trying to drown the baby! . We bathed DS2 with DS1 from day 1 and got both ready for bed at the same time - even though DS2 was downstairs with us until we went to bed for about the first 6 weeks it helped to start some sort of bedtime routine and from about 6 weeks old he was going to bed at 7ish with DS1 - was heaven to have the nights to ourselves after entertaining 2 all day!

Never tell the toddler to be quiet when you are trying to put the baby down for a nap - means they are 200 times louder than they normally would be (learned this the hard way!)

Keep special toys, books and snacks for only when you are feeding the baby - keeps the toddler occupied for about 5 minutes

Think of easy meals to serve the toddler that don't take too long to prepare - pasta, cheese on toast, beans on toast, boiled eggs and soldiers and pizza are all favourites in this house

I'm sure I will think of more - we have a 23 month gap between our 2 lo's and it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be.

if poss find some constructive childcare for dc1 outside the house to give you time with baby. mine started small nursery 3 days a week, really helps us all balance the week, and he is really growing htere

set very, very low expectations for yourself and your family. then you may keep surpassing htem and glow with acheivment and not feel like you've failed anything

round up help to do your housework for the first 4 weeks, so you can tackle managing th kids together and ahve a breather to figure out how to manage house on top of that.

figure out ways that dc1 can help. they love to please you.

remember they don't ahve any idea what baby is for, you have to teach them slowly

I will try to think of some tips for you but first of all can I just say that I found 2 easier than 1, there are times when it feels like you can't achieve anything but who cares, as long as everybody is fed and clean then you have won.
As they get older I am so glad I have 2, they love each other, Play together, help out with each other.

2 is much easier than 1 i have a 2 yr old and 12 week old and it is great plus toddler group is fab also go dd in 2 nursery 3 morns aweek which is good as long as u get ur 20 month old involved with baby u should find it ok its not always fun and good but u learn to cope my dd is fab with her wee brother always wanting to show him something its really quite funny at times

have fun xx

The most important thing IMO&IME, is the toddler for the first few months of babies life.
As long as baby is fed and clean and not crying put it down as much as possible and devote that time to your youngest, make jokes out of baby crying, like 'uh-oh baby is crying again, you know what that means don't you?STINKY BUM, EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW' type things so when you have to leave toddler to look after baby the toddler is laughing and happy not resentful.
The relationship between the two of them will be very important, especially in respect to how hard it will be when they're older, my eldest two are 7&3 and almost never fight, we had no jealousy either, have just had my third, still no jealousy (though it's early days).
It's so much easier looking after children that have good relationships so I'd try building it from the start.

youngest eldest

20m and not due till december? pah, thats a HUGE gap, dunno what youre worrying about

ooh VS, what stirling advice. (sp?)

i did that too and mine all get on, which is hugely helpful ime.

Good post VS.

I have a 2-year-old and a 3-week-old.

My top tips:

Remember that the baby isn't made of glass and the toddler is allowed to clumsily love the baby.

Remember that it is your job to ensure that the toddler is never put in a position where she may inadvertently hurt the baby. If the baby does get squished, explain gently to the toddler, but don't get cross.

It is much easier to get a baby used to sleeping through cacophonous noise than it is to persuade a toddler to be quiet.

Grow an extra pair of arms so you can feed the baby while simultaniously dressing Upsy Daisy, surfing CBeebies for an episode of Noddy, reading Snail & the Whale, kissing bumped head better and helping to open a yogurt.

I'm really enjoying having two!!

Are you going to breastfeed? Just if you are, learn asap how to lay baby on your lap and feed handsfree, it's really useful

BS, I don't think I saw your birth announcement, (link?) congrats.

These are really helpful -- keep em coming

(I'm not worried ... more that I want to get advice from people that've been there so I can benefit from their wisdom)

I'd like to breastfeed again.

I think the advice about lowering expectations right now is fab ... also that baby doesnt actually need as much attention other than being fed and clean compared with toddler ...

DD starts 5 afternoons a week at nursery in Oct with MIL collecting so we will have a good couple of months to get used to that afore new one arrives ... so toddler has exciting afternoons and I have some time with new baby ... having baby in December means paternity leave can roll into xmas hols too so theoretically DH around for that first month of adapting to help more.

i had a fisher price take-along swing which new-baby ds3 lived in a shocking amount of the time for the first few months while i had and 18m and 2.5yo to look after. was a total lifesaver. he seemed to find it as soothing as being held... would go in it awake and stay for ages, either asleep or awake... gave me loads of hands free time to look after the other two.

Thank you VS. I did a post at the time. Had a little boy on the 28th April. Not so little actually. All fine. He's lovely .

C-beebies
Gin
Earplugs
Distinct lowering of domestic standards,unless you have a cleaner.
Another pair of hands.

Not neccessarily in that order

Seriously,its hard at first but after a few months it gets easier.

You'll love it when they start interacting toghether.Its fab

Good luck