Too old and knackered for two little kids

[whistleturn]

I had a bad night with toddler last night and the night before; numerous wake ups and disturbances. Up at half six for work, then home and toddler started screaming when we left nursery and didn’t stop until we got home, meaning I couldn’t talk to my older child (4) who then got destructive and disrespectful as he was sick of being ignored. Home and they play nicely for two minutes then screaming and squabbling starts. Now the debacle of bath time is starting. I’m so tired and fed up of them today.

Tomorrow is a new day. Just get through today. Breathe before replying, as snapping will only make you feel worse. Even if that means you sort of drift along in a bit of a haze while chaos reigns. You've got this 💪

How old is too old?

There are no words to help. I remember this feeling so well. It does get better, I promise. It feels like forever

45

It'll be ok. Just wish the toddler would sleep.

I salute you. I struggled at 30! It gets easier

Ha toddler and 4 are the worst ages for 2 kids, I remember reading lots of threads where people complained about similar ages and people said it gets better in about a year. And they are right, suddenly the toddler doesn't destroy everything the older one wants to do, the older one can be a bit more tolerant of the younger one, and they even play together and help each other (and you) once in a while. Ours are 2.5 and 5.5 now.
Hang on in there it's not you or them, it's just the ages.

My sister is 41 her daughters are 19 & 20 now.
Op you are in the thick of it but it will get better your doing a great job.

I dont have any children so i dont know what`s it really like i only look at people with kids and think how do you do it.

Solidarity. I’m 45 with a toddler too. She’s my fourth and it’s too much. One thing I’ve noticed is that this ‘too old’ thing is something I tell myself this time around when I’m struggling. I found it hard with my others too when they were young but I blamed something else 😂. You’ve already a four year old do you know it gets easier. My toddler has just started speaking more thr last couple of weeks and that has made it a bit easier. But yeah—tomorrow is a new day. We may well be too old but there is no sending them back 😂

I’m hoping by Christmas we’ll be in a much better place; older one settled in school and little one a bit more open to reason. Just have to get through this spring / summer first!

I am 45 with a small DC. One that is a giant pain in the ass a lot of the time and it's exhausting. It's nothing to do with age - I've got older kids. It's just bloody relentless some times.

I was only 25 when mine were this young, granted I am disabled, but fast forward 10 years I realise I had a tonne more energy back then. I still really struggled! Especially bath and bed time. My youngest didn't sleep until he was 5!

I’m 36 and my kids are 3 and 1.5 and this sounds exactly like them. Right now I am struggling big time and their behaviour is quite honestly shit. Ur not alone !!! What’s making me more annoyed at the minute is all the social media cherish every minute Ul miss this so much and all I can think is yeah I’m really gonna miss getting booted in the chest trying to wrestle them into car seats while they scream then get home to try to keep on top of a house while they wreck it all for no thanks and going to work part time is my treat. I get to leave the house alone 2 days a week and soesk to other adults for 7.5 hrs

Mine have been very screamy this evening. I don’t know why.

Solidarity. 47 with 4 and 6 year olds. Today was tough because they have been tired and dh has to work from office till late. I lost it at some point so I switched on cbeebies and went to collect myself. Cbeebies did its job and I cooled down. The evening has been better. I will not think about tomorrow. Tomorrow will unfold as it will. For now I will take a hot shower, have a cuppa, do some puzzles then sleep, praying that they won't havr wakeful night.
And I will remember wonderful and funny and insightful they can be.

Yes I stuck CBeebies on. Sometimes it works. Often it doesn’t.

Mine are 5 and 2 and I feel similarly some nights, the screaming goes right through me. I feel like I should be immune to it now but I’m not, if anything it grates my nerves more every day. I had a horrible shouty phase about 6 months ago that I’m slowly coming out of but still have some bad days. It’s very hard on a lack of sleep. At least the weather is improving so we can get out and about more, I really struggle with full days at home. Solidarity!

You're right in the trenches.

It does get easier!

I’m struggling more with the warm weather funnily enough. I hate being hot and bothered. Give me a cool woodland walk in early spring or autumn or even a snowy winters day, soft play, role play cafe, trampolining park. With this sun I feel pressured to get out and Enjoy It. But I just don’t!

I have a 4yo and 2yo. This evening was just awful. Both were upset over wanting to play with the same thing and it escalated until both were screaming at the top of their lungs. I felt trapped and just screamed at my 4yo to just stop. I felt instant regret and apologised to my 4yo and explained that it’s never okay for me to shout like that. I’ve been thinking about it since it happened and it will probably always be one of those things I beat myself up about.

I think this is a tough age combination right now OP. We will get through it.