leave 6 month old with Mum for 2 days

[AnyankaJenkins]

I am a lone parent of an almost 5 year old and a 6 month old. I'm planning on leaving my baby with my mum for 2 days/1 night over may half term so that I can take my 4 year old to a theme park (staying there overnight).

Baby is ebf and just started solids, he has taken a bottle before though not for a while. I can practice, maybe start a routine of giving him a bottle before bed so that he's used to it again? I'll express milk but also happy with formula for the 2 days. I'd take my pump with me so I could pump a few times while away to stop discomfort/mastitis.

Baby is comfortable with my mum, she's perfectly capable and great with babies, she wouldn't be phased by crying, she has more patience than me!

It's feels important to do this as my older child has been great with the baby but I'm inevitably giving him a lot less attention. When I'm not tending to baby/feeding etc I end up cleaning/cooking etc, rarely get time to just sit/play with eldest. So I think 2 days of my undivided attention will hopefully 'fill his cup' as they say.

Is there anything I'm missing which makes this a terrible idea? Instinctively it feels like a good decision and important that older child is prioritised for once; even if baby has a bit of a difficult 2 days he'll be fine and won't remember it whereas older child will hopefully remember the time we went on an adventure together. But I wanted to sense check with others in case I've missed something (oldest was pandemic baby so no opportunity at this age even if I'd wanted to), thanks.

It must be really hard being a single parent to two these ages.

I don't have experience of that but I do have experience of parenting two and what I would say is that making space for your older one can't be done in one off "cup filling" - it needs to be more of a day to day thing.

I think it's more important to figure out when in your day to day routine, you can make the space to play with him and be with him, than do this one off trip.

I also think that this is a lot for an EBF baby who isn't used to a bottle and I personally wouldn't do it for this reason

If your son is really keen on the theme park, could you all go and your mum take more of a lead with the baby? Or could you stay with your mum and take your 4 year old out for some shorter outings?

How confident do you feel that baby would take a bottle without you? I echo above I would only do it if you’re sure baby will drink their milk

Other than ensuring baby would take a bottle by trying several times well in advance I’d not see any issue. Your mum will cope fine and important for your other DC to have quality time with you. Would your mum come to yours so she has everything to hand and baby has the same routine - room etc?

Six months I would also get baby used to a sippy cup as a back up to the bottle (just in case!) but I think it’s a splendid idea. Your older child will love having you all to himself. Baby will be absolutely fine and doted on the way only grandparents can.

If baby will take the bottle and would settle in an evening for your mum I don't see a problem with doing it, maybe try leaving baby with your mum for an afternoon plus bedtime as a trial run to see if anything else needs to be considered

I’d do some practice runs first - get your mum to give her a bottle without you there, and maybe to put her down at night.

I had to leave my 8mo once, who inconsistently took a bottle. It… did not go well.

Thanks for the responses.

yes I agree the day to day is more important, I’m working on that, trying to find a cleaner and try meal planning etc so I can spend less time on all that. My oldest said yesterday he wishes he had lots of mummies, one to clean, one to have a nap, one feed the baby and one to play with him. Was very poignant that he clearly notices how I’m always grumpy tired and rushing around. I would like to create fun special memories with him too though.

i didn’t mention but DM has looked after baby a couple of times for long afternoon/evening near Xmas so I could do the work Xmas events. All went fine for both of them, I only managed to express a bit before and he just had that and some formula.

Good point about sippy cup, I’ll factor that in. And yes I’d prefer her to be here I think although he’s a fairly chilled baby and we slept at DMs before and he slept normal so I think he’d cope.

i should have also said baby goes to sleep for naps and bedtime independently ie just place in cot wide awake. He might struggle when waking at night not to be bf but I’m still thinking it’ll be worth it even if it’s a less than perfect night for baby and DM.

thanks all

You are going to need to factor in time to pump and dump, or you will end up with mastitis.