Baby sleep- what the hell happened?

[Waitinggame42023]

My 7 month old baby was a champion sleeper up until about 6 weeks ago. From 3 months, he slept through for often as long as a 13 hour stretch, from 4.5 months he could be put down in his crib/cot, soothe himself to sleep and then sleep for 12 hours. Good daytime naps (contact naps, fed to sleep or pram sleep, always drifting off very quickly).
But for the past 6 weeks his sleep has been getting progressively worse and worse and worse. He now cannot nap longer than 30 minutes at an absolute maximum, he has to be fed to sleep at night or he will not go down, he's now waking up multiple times after being put in his cot, won't resettle without falling asleep on the breast and being transferred to cot, waking up and 5am, then 4am, now 3, 2, 1 am and not resettling without breastfeed to sleep. At first I thought it was a sleep regression and would pass, but that's very clearly not the only part of the story as the it's getting progressively worse and has been going on for weeks.

I just tried the Ferber method of sleep training to help teach him to self soothe, started on his first nap this morning. Chosen a day when he's not got a teething flare up. It went appallingly, and now I just don't know what to do. I set 3 minutes as the maximum time to let him cry before going in to soothe, when I went in I didn't pick him up, just stroked his face and held his hands for a minute or 2, then left. But as soon as I'd leave the room he was back up to the same level of hysterical crying. I gave up after 40 minutes as I couldn't see him distressed. Am I meant to just keep going? For 1, 2, 3, 4 hours? I understand it takes persistence but surely I can't just leave him like that for hours on end?
Feel like a terrible mother, as well as exhausted. Feel like I've failed. Any advice from those who have sleep trained, I'd be eternally grateful for 🙏

Is he having or gearing up for a growth spurt and hungry? What's he having in the way of solid food?

He’s only 7 months. I’m amazed he’s slept so well thus far! But clearly something is changing - could be any number of things (sleep regression, teething, hunger, separation). I wouldn’t try sleep training until you know what the issue is. So for now I would do whatever it takes for both of you to get some sleep - contact naps, co sleeping etc.

this too shall pass x

My guess would be teething. Have you tried giving him calpol 20 min before you put him down? If he’s in pain, that will hopefully sort it out and you’ll know that was it because he’ll sleep. Teething pain can start quite a long time before the teeth actually come in.

Do you hate a partner who could help work night settles? Before a certain time of night (eg midnight) my partner would settle our baby at that age, then after that time I would go and do a long breastfeed (often the longest of the day) and then partner would do settles again until the next time window (say 2h later) when I would feed again.

Other things that worked for us at that age: porridge before bed; bottle before bed.

I'd guess sleep regression/developmental leap/separation anxiety/teething. I also had a naturally good sleeper from the get go, nothing at all I did to make him that way it's just how he was. Around 7 months it went to pot and it was a combo of the above. He'd wake up clapping hands, trying to crawl in his cot, shouting Mama, crying with teeth. It honestly seemed like his little brain was in overdrive. 9 months now and getting much better. Persisted with routine as much as possible. Slowly dropped from 3 naps to 2 and the naps lengthened. Calpol before bed on a bad teething day. Quick cuddle when he woke at night, no talking, no lights, just comfort. If its similar to our situation there's an element of riding it out unfortunately. Solidarity, I found it a tough stage.

Really normal. It’s a mix of teething, starting solids, separation anxiety and a lot of development. Everyone talks about the 4 month sleep regression, but I remember thinking 4 months was great for both of mine. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 6-12 months until separation anxiety ended was hellish. At 6 months, my eldest was sleeping like 30 minutes at a time. I thought I was going to die.

No point sleep training. It’s not like they aren’t sleeping because they need to learn to self soothe. They’re not sleeping because teeth hurt and digestion is working overtime and brain neural pathways are forming and they need to be comforted by you. We co-slept and I went to bed early and we pressed onwards.

Most days he's having breakfast, either porridge with banana/strawberry/coconut or toast with peanut butter, he doesn't eat loads here. He also has dinner around 4:30-5pm where he eats more. I'm doing a mix of smooth/puree food and fingers food- he started getting bad reflux around 6 months so I found the mix helpful to make sure he actually consuming something.

Thank you so much for all your replies.
@comealongdobbeh We actually find it very hard to get him to take Calpol, he seems to be disgusted with the taste! He'll happily suck back Nurofen though but obviously that's Ibuprofen and not as gentle as paracetamol, so we try to only give it when he's showing obvious teething symptoms. I do think it is in part teething-related though, and the tip of his first tooth popped through a couple of days ago! (Top gum, strangely)

@OtterMummy2024 my husband's actually a hero as he's always first up if DS wakes in the night.

So I really am lucky in that respect, and that DS was such a good sleeper for so long. I guess it's just hard to see a change that 'goes backwards', as it feels like I've done something wrong.

@comealongdobbeh @Lavenderandlemons @mindutopia I think it could well be separation anxiety related too, he was notably very clingy all the rest of today. It's good to be reminded that it does pass, I think I'm just feeling the pressure as we have a lot of family and friends travelling up at the weekend (for most it'll be the first time DS has met them). I'll just have to keep him near me at all times. Thank you all again x

My DD’s teeth came through in an odd order and i
kid you not, we had to give her calpol every single night for about 3 months. Seriously. The nights we didn’t, she would scream the house down. I was, in my exhaustion, worried I’d somehow got her addicted to it! Spoke to HV who confirmed DD was teething like mad and both HV and pharmacist confirmed a nightly dose of calpol wouldn’t hurt. She wasn’t addicted and got over the teething. It does pass but it can be relentless for them (and us). My DS sailed through teething so it was a shock to my system to say the least! I swear by that teething powder too. It won’t last forever x

Thank you, I'm sorry to hear you and DD went through that for 3 months, that must've been horrendous! DS has had flare ups on and off for a couple of months, luckily only one of two very bad episodes so far though, but he did wake up a few days ago crying in pain, poor little chap! So I think it must be a big contributor to the changes we're seeing.
I'm watching him on the monitor now and he's rubbing his face in his sleep.

I will try the teething powder- I've been using gel but not had much luck with it so far as he immediately licks it off my finger 😂