Play date - not keen - WWYD

[Edithpilou]

Hi all,

I’ll try to keep this brief … son is pals with a boy in same class (year 1) and this boy is keen to have my son round for tea and a play date. The issue is that the older sibling of this boy is very violent and behaves inappropriately, has attacked both of my children in the playground previously, has attacked various kids in the classroom etc etc. There are clearly serious behavioural issues.

I have seen the family outside of school several times and witnessed shocking behaviour from this boy that seems to be dismissed / ignore by the parents (and other parents end up intervening).

Not keen to send my child to that house for a play date or go myself. I keep being asked though, as the younger sibling is so keen. We have hosted at ours but don’t want to do it the other way around. The invites tend to me geared around my son going after school without me or my other child.

should I be honest and say to the parents “no it’s not going to happen and here’s why”

or

continue to make excuses and hope they’ll stop inviting my son over ?

I think you could say why. Something like "Do you mind if we stick to coming to us, I'm afraid my boy is intimidated by X".

As above. You need to explain the issue, and if they are offended then so be it. They might feel obliged to have your son over in return and be glad if you're happy to do all the hosting.

Thanks. I expect great offence will be taken, but what can I do?!

All you can do is keep your child safe, which as you know trumps their feelings. Good luck!