Pull-ups at a sleepover

[sunnyfields25]

Hello

My 7-year-old son has been invited to a camping sleepover for a friend's birthday in a few weeks, and is really keen to go. However he still wears pull-ups at night. It's only about once a week when he does a wee during the night (and when it happens it's always lots of wee and sometimes leaks through😩). But he always wears the pull-ups as there's no way of knowing which night it will happen on.

We've never made a big deal of it as I don't want him to feel self conscious about wearing pull-ups at night, but as a result he maybe doesn't realise that his friends might not wear them too. He's autistic so I need to tread carefully in explaining things.

It would be great if I could find some more discreet pull-ups or another alternative for this sleepover, as at the moment he just wears the budget ones from Tesco which are quite babyish. However I've read reviews of some bigger brands and quite a few people have said they leak in the night.

Does anyone have any recommendations?

Thanks so much 😊

At his age I think you can get pills from GP to help him stay dry overnight?

Definitely worth a GP trip. In the meantime how about picking him up really late when the others are ready to settle down?

@ExcitingRicotta Yep I've done some reading up on that and we're bearing it in mind. But hoping to avoid using medication if we can as he's making really good progress (only weeing in his sleep about once a week) - it's just very slow progress! But I think the not being able to drink thing with the medication would be an issue for DS, it could make him distressed if he was thirsty and wasn't allowed to drink.

We went for a onesie at that age. But it was beaver camp so a bit easier as we were able to tell the leaders to get him changed on his own. Drynites are the branded ones but still don’t look like pants. I think you need to get the parents to help.

DS was in pull ups until he was 12 (we tried EVERYTHING). We always asked the parents to help to keep things discreet.

He won't get medication from the gp, although they can refer him to the paediatric incontinence team. It will be a lengthy process. Just tell him to wear long pjs and go to the bathroom to put on his pull-up and not drink too late

DS (also autistic) was in pull ups til he was 12. The consultant said it’s common for autistic children to be later. He was also once a week or so at that age. On his year 6 residential he was very careful to change in the bathroom. He had a special black washing to keep his things in and kept everything hidden. Dry nights are thin and you can’t tell through PJs that they’re any different to normal pants.

If this were one of mine, I’d have to chat to him about this difference from his friends, but also ask the parents of the sleepover invite child to be aware and support him

Pack the pj's with the pull up inside the bottoms already. Ds can get ready in the bathroom alone.
Ds was 15 before reliably dry. Meds worked to a point..

Friends son was in pull ups until he was seven plus. They bought an alarm system. It worked within a week. I'd let him have pull ups. I used to discreetly dispose of them in the morning for my friends child.

Honestly I wouldn’t send him or would pick him up early.
In my experience kids can be mean. A girl in my SD’s class wore pull-ups on sleepover, one kid found out and told the whole school and years of teasing and jokes about wearing nappies followed. I couldn’t risk that.

DD (also autistic and older than your son) wears them, and sleepovers and residential trips haven't been a problem (well, not for that reason!)

You can tell him quite matter of factly that most children his age don't wear them - I've explained to DD that being dry at night is dependent on a hormone being produced that stops you peeing overnight. For most NT children that happens between the ages of 2 and 5; for most autistic children it happens between 7 and 15. And also explained that although most children her age are dry at night, if all of them were then nobody would buy the pull ups! She's been away overnight and because she doesn't care, nobody else does. There's been no teasing. We send her with sanitary bags to wrap them in to dispose of them.

In terms of recommendations, we have a subscription with Confidence Club. Much more absorbent than tesco and according to DD much more comfortable.

You could try Cheeky Wipes kids incontinence pants which really do look like pants - but our experience with those was that they weren't adequate to deal with a full wee overnight.

I think if there’s a possibility he might not be dry overnight then you shouldn’t send him. Not fair on the parents to deal with it if it happens that night, especially if there’s a risk it would leak.

Don't waste your time with your GP. I have been asking for help for my 9.5 year old for about 2 years now and they will do nothing, just refer you to the school nurse.

We tried everything. The meds helped, the alarm cracked it in a week. We got it off Amazon. He was 12.

You can ask for a referral to your local bladder and bowel team (which are kept terribly secret for some reason - I only found out they existed when another parent told me about them). I am genuinely looking into how to nominate our continence nurse for some sort of OBE, that's how good she is. I hope there's someone equally good in your area!

Honestly if my DS had a friend round that may need help with pull ups or even a wet bed it absolutely wouldn’t be a problem. The poor child is probably desperate for a sleep over with a friend.

We used pull ups and a kids sleeping bag and made the parents aware.
Pull up put on for sleep. Taken off in the morning and left in the sleeping bag - wet or dry. Sleeping bag rolled up in the morning in the sleeping bag (wet or dry) and put in the carry bag. Sleeping bag washed if necessary when home.
All good.

Its not fair to make kids miss out on fun nights with their friends when it’s not their fault that though no fault of their own, they haven’t got control of their bladder.

Thank you so much to the people who sent kind replies or shared their experiences 🙂 I think having a word with the parents beforehand will be the best approach, so they can help DS to discreetly get his pull-ups on. I might also try putting the pull-ups inside the PJ bottoms ready, as suggested. Think we'll do a trial run of that though, just in case it confuses him!

@RavenLaw - After reading your reply I actually ordered some pull-ups from the Confidence Club, and they arrived today, so we'll give them a try. Thanks for the recommendation.

Longer term I'm going to look into the alarm option to see if that might suit DS. But we'll get this sleepover out of the way first!