My three year old is awaiting a referral for autism and ADHD (her older sister has autism). She is 4 in a few months and recently has become very controlling particularly of me (her mother) she doesn’t like me doing anything, eating, drinking, going to the toilet, getting a bath/shower. She doesn’t like me showing her siblings any attention. She has to have things a certain way, in particular orders. She questions everything to the smallest detail, where we’re going, which route we take. She constantly demands to know what I’m doing and will only sleep if I promise not to go to sleep. She repeats the same sentences multiple times if she doesn’t get an answer straight away, she refuses to wait for anything. She can become quite aggressive, slapping and punching me and also nipping. I’ve tried naughty chairs, taking toys away, giving her instructions of what’s happening but nothing seems to work. I struggle to discipline her as I don’t like shouting and if she is on the spectrum I don’t want to “discipline” her for something she can’t help/understand.
Just for reference her older sister, age 5. Is autistic and non verbal, she is developmentally delayed and has a chromosomal condition.
I want to help her in the best way possible so she isn’t struggling but being controlled with everything I do I taking a toll. I feel like I can’t do anything, it’s got to the point where I just get ready in a morning and don’t put any make up on or anything I just wear my partners t shirts and leggings all the time because my daughter like me getting ready properly and if I’m getting ready for any longer than a few minutes she will become aggressive and usually hit me. I’ve found that I have forgotten anything that makes me happy or any hobbies I had because my entire day revolves around what she needs/wants and what I can do to prevent another meltdown.