Should I keep baby awake before bedtime?

[harleyh]

Second time mum feeling like a first time mum. Baby is 7 weeks old and sleep is really poor at night, its killing me and all I’m seeing and hearing is other babies round the same age doing 5/6+ hour stretches and I feel like I’m doing something wrong as we can’t even get 3 hours. He wakes very shortly after being put down and just fusses. So last night he slept from 7-9ish in the carrier but then once I got him ready to go down in his bed he’s just been fussing and not sleeping. Should I be keeping him awake before bed? I can’t remember what I did first time round with my older child. Every night is poor but every night, even on a good night we will never go back to sleep after the 4:30/5 feed. It’s making me miserable and I’m struggling to function.

Bump. He finally gave in and went to sleep in my bed around 4 only to wake up around 4:40 and not go back to sleep, co sleeping just really doesn’t make much difference here.

No advice but solidarity. There are a millions threads on mumsnet about baby sleep which you should read. But also your baby is really really new and won’t have a routine sorted yet. Yes some babies are sleeping well now (and then they regress and get worse later on) but most babies are not sleeping long stretches yet, I promise you.

honestly? You will get there and now you have to prioritise sleeping when the baby sleeps if you can. Can you also go to sleep at 7 tonight?

Yes I did with DS. He would try to sleep all day & then be awake until the early hours. It was quite an effort but he did get into staying awake during day & sleeping at night after a few weeks & then carried on sleeping well. It’s not cruel as babies need sleep too & you need to be safe looking after him (which you won’t be if you never sleep).

each Baby is different but I haven’t heard from a lot of babies sleeping 5/6 hrs at 7 weeks? More like 4 max.

anyway, my baby is also a bad sleeper. I try to get in day naps as an overtired baby does not sleep well at night according to science. And last nap around 6:30 for an hour max. Otherwise we won’t make it past 2 hours at night.

my baby is 10 weeks now and only started 4h stretches now. But had a too late nap yesterday and again all 2h stretches tonight. It’s brutal.

Your baby is normal. My baby never slept more than a couple of hours, especially that early on!

Ignore all the people who claim 7-7 etc. Good for them, you have a normal baby.

Your baby is only 7 weeks old, it’s completely normal that they won’t sleep for longer stretches yet. It’s a really tough stage but lots of babies tend to get more into a routine around 12-16 weeks.

Are you offering a feed at every wake up? I’d just feed and lie down next to him? Also do you have a partner? If you’re doing nights and he’s sleeping in the carrier anyway, give him to your partner at 7pm to do bedtime with eldest and you go to sleep. Definitely neither of mine were ever sleeping 5/6 hour stretches at 7 weeks! I think we might have managed that once with our first but Dh literally stayed up all night watching game of thrones or something similarly ridiculous and had her in the sling all night to give me a chance to actually sleep a solid stretch.

Each baby is totally different but IME 7pm is still a little early for bedtime. My DC2 went to bed 8:30/9 at that age and 6-7pm was nap time (back when they had 4-5 naps)

Also adding that I would only allow the last nap to be 20-30mins and had no issue with waking him. I know people say don’t wake a sleeping baby but I was brutal in making sure he went to sleep at night.

At that age DC1 would have a nap in the living room then when he woke we would keep him up a bit, do a little bath, a change into jammies, a little look around and then a long feed and down to bed.
However not all babies will sleep for long stretches at 7 weeks.
But personally if they’re napping from 7-9 I would try to keep them up for a good hour or two before going to bed for the night closer to 11.

Are you BF?

honestly I'd not interfere with him sleeping in the evening, trying to keep babies awake is madness. He's only tiny. Roll with it for now.

One option is try bed at 7 for him, and you sleep too?

My babies at that age would have slept around 8 hours at night but with (many) mini wake ups during that time to feed etc. I would treat a 7pm sleep as a nap, wake them after an hour max, and then take them to bed with me at 10-ish.

Thanks for all the replies, I agree 7 is too early at this age for night sleep, it was just that he was falling asleep and crying while getting my older boy to bed so I popped him in the sling. Tonight I will try and make it work so that he is awake 1-1.5 hours before bed. The issue is if I put him on his mat or bouncer and he wants to sleep he will just cry until I pick him up then fall asleep on me so it can be a struggle keeping him awake. He sleeps dreamy in the sling, I have him in it a lot during the day. Am I using it too much and he is getting too used to it? I never used one much with my first.

Yes I have a partner, he works away Monday-Friday though so his only home 3 nights over weekend. Just me, baby and 3 year old during the week. He does all the feeds and wake ups on those 3 nights and does bed time with toddler and also gets him up. But I am still disturbed each time baby wakes on the weekends as I’m a light sleeper so we have agreed this weekend he will take baby downstairs for the nights so I have uninterrupted sleep.

My 3 year old was a great sleeper and always has been, I think I was too lucky with him so I feel a bit clueless this time round! I miss my older boy so much and being able to spend proper time with him, I feel like I can’t be the mother he deserves at the moment as I’m that sleep deprived and is affecting my mood/patience, that’s what I’m finding the hardest.