I love my children, but I am so lonely. 4mpp & feeling incredibly low

[Stephanieava]

What the title says really

I feel so isolated & alone. Friends are not there, of course they have their own lives, but I feel that nobody has been checking on me like I have checked on them in the past

I have made one new mum friend with my second child, I see her once a week & it’s lovely. But it’s surface level about the babies & only for 30 minutes at a short group session

I’m longing for connection. Baby groups etc are also fine, but again the conversation is surface level

I feel I have nobody to phone & say ‘hey I just need to talk’

I did try to phone my Mum but she told me I need to be more self sufficient, stop putting pressure on myself by taking the children to groups etc & just have more PJ days at home. I was just like 😳

Anyway, sorry don’t know why I’m coming on here. I’m just sat in the bathroom crying. You know when you get that gut punch feeling in your stomach, like emotional hurt? I feel it constantly. I see others on social media meeting up with their babies & friends

I am just so lonely

Hugs. It's so so hard, and don't beat yourself up for feeling lonely, disconnected, untethered, knackered, low, anxious and everything else. It's such a life changing event. How old is your first?
I get the baby groups stuff, it was all very surface for me but did at least get me out (even though most of the time I felt like having a little cry inside!).

Your giving your all to these dc and getting nothing back from anyone. It sounds like you need a rest, some solidarity, some 'normal' feeling you time and you don't feel like this is being offered or available. Is there a partner around? Is your mum close?
I had PND and felt quite like this, not saying it is but if you feel like this when you've had a chance to sleep/eat/wash/walk etc then perhaps speak to the HV? I also think sometimes we need to be direct with people and say look, I'm drowning, I need you to do xyz otherwise the importance andmagnitude of it all isn't conveyed.

You will not feel like this forever xx