My six year old daughter is talking about Snapchat, TikTok and skincare

[mummytoonetryingfortwo]

I’ve always been careful to keep my daughter away from social media etc. she doesn’t have phone time or much TV, but she’s come back from her first day back at school and is taking about Snapchat, TikTok and a skincare routine. Her best friend has spent Easter with her older cousins (12 and 14), and has been exposed to it all. She’s begging me to see the filters on my phone and has produced a list of skincare items she wants, brand names included. What on earth do I do?!

say “that’s nice dear but it’s for older girls”. Same as you would if she was talking about gcse choices or getting a part time job.

Tell her not to get sucked into this nonsense as it’s just designed to keep people feeling bad and spending money.

I would hold the line. Explain to her that she is too young for these things and that just because other people are talking about them it doesn’t mean she has to. Unfortunately it’s just the start of a long series of things your child will be exposed to too young and you have to decide what you are comfortable with an be confident in your decision whether it’s phones or skincare or social media. You know you have her best interests at heart so be confident in your views

People my age pay to get young skin, don't ruin yours.

That's what I say... And six??? Six??? FFS
Even 12/13 is too young in my opinion

I know it’s far too young and I feel horrifically guilty. But she wouldn’t stop talking about it all evening. From the second she left the school gates to the second she got into bed. I don’t allow anything like that (I obviously have a skincare routine but I do it before she wakes up and after she’s gone to bed), but she’s still hearing about it

Is she an only child?
As i have two we try to bring up the conversation to age appropriate things.

Maybe tell her ok, we can keep this list until you are in secondary school, (and even then i think just SPF and moisturiser are enough) and then we will talk.

Tell her "i am not saying No, but saying not yet"

I have a 13yo and fortunately she isn't into skin care but i see her friends and unfortunately it is pervasive, it's everywhere.

But there are things like TV shows and so on I have age limits, like (ok we like anime) Oshi No Ko only in secondary school and DanDaDan she will have to wait until 15/16 - and now she has watched Oshi No Ko she agrees that it is not for her younger sister's age and that i was right in making her wait.

And just spotted your username - sorry for asking if she is an only child - I had 5 miscarriages so I know how it feels

Don’t apologise for asking, I’m so sorry for your losses. I’ve just found out I’m expecting baby number 2.

She will be the oldest child, which worries me

Congratulations! Hope all goes well!

Maybe being older she can be protective of her sibling. You can use that as a comparison - babies only have milk, not chocolate, ice cream, spaghetti bolognese... so your cousins can have some skincare as they are nearly teenagers and their skin is changing, but you are only 6, you would actually damage your skin starting this early...

For me a key phrase that i use A LOT is the "not no, but not yet"

And sometimes it happens that when mine turned 13 I told her if she wanted she was now allowed Snapchat as her friends have it and she said "no, too confusing" which i was relieved

She has whatsapp and I can read her messages when i want, but so far all is good...

Don’t ever take her to Sephora. It’s the make up equivalent of The Disney store. Tweens running around with retinol and anti-aging serums in their baskets begging for Drunk Elephant moisturisers. 😵‍💫

Thank you! I hope so, she’ll be 7 by the time baby arrives so I’m hoping having a younger child in the house will help her stay young for a little while more

My 8-year-old DD has started asking about skincare routines — mostly because she sees her older sister (15) doing hers.

Perhaps an unpopular opinion but we approach it as a bit of self-care rather than anything serious. I got her a Simple (the brand) moisturiser and face wash, plus a soft fluffy flannel that feels a bit “fancy.” Honestly, it’s not much different to basic soap and water, but it makes her feel special.

Every now and then (maybe every few weeks), we do a little face mask together (nothing chemically harsh) — she absolutely loves it. It’s more about the fun and bonding than the actual skincare.

6 is younger though. Maybe explain those items she are for teenagers but for now you can pick a nice flannel and soap.

My DD was the same from 7 - I outright (and continue to) refuse Snapchat/Tiktok talk until she’s well into high school but I have got her a bubble skincare set for her 9th birthday. It will be wiped off shortly after she’s put it on though! 6 does seem very young.

My 13yo is asking for TikTok and I say .. Noooooooo

when he persists in a stupid level, I put headphones on

hold same line, just say no

kids will push and push and push and push!

Slightly different, but my 7 year old informed me the name of “my favourite YouTuber” the other day. He doesn’t have access to YouTube! It’s so hard to protect kids from these influences.

Sorry forgot to add re social media.

Hold firm in your beliefs on SM. It has a lot to answer for. We gave DD 15 a phone at 12 and she has had problems with image and self-harm. We didn't know how about parental controls etc at that point.

I think DD 8 will also have a phone at 12 due to high school. However, she wont be able to download apps without asking ‘permission’ via her phone. Her phone will probably also have the camera disbaled.

I feel very guilty about how early on my eldest daughter was exposed to really harmful content. We just weren't that educated about social media at the time. The algorithms have a lot to answer for.

As I have before on Mumsnet highly recommend the book Anxious Generation. Terrifying.

My 8 year old started talking about skin care. I just told her to use spf, drink water and ignore the rest because it's made up by old white men who want to make money off making women and girls feel ashamed of their naturally beautiful skin. She's back to squishmallows now but she has friends who are using retinol. At age 8!

I think you’ll find a lot of skincare and makeup brands are also developed by women of all colours not just old white men.

What an odd thing to say to your child. She’s going to have a warped view of the world if that’s your parenting style, are you really saying girls and women use makeup to hide being ashamed of their skin?

My 6yo DS is talking about Sigma Boy and Skibidi Toilet all of a sudden 🙄

He hasn't watched anything like that with us. The way that he pronounces it makes me think he's heard it from a friend (we are in a non English speaking country). It's just playground nonsense, don't overthink it.

My dd is 9 and desperately wanted to try skincare so I filled up some dropper bottles with water, gave her some cotton pads and her own mirror and she played away with them. It only lasted a day or two then she got bored.
Let her do something like that and get it out of her system she’ll be back playing with her toys in no time.

What do you do?

You say no.

She is 6, so it’s not a negotiation.