Still can’t sleep

[SarahScone]

Appreciate that this is a hugely contentious mumsnet subject, but…. Have recently sleep trained our 5 month old. It was relatively painless and he is now falling asleep independently and waking for 2 feeds each night. Which is f*ing fabulous. We were on about 9 wake ups a night previously, each one requiring resettling or giving up and co-sleeping.
So it worked. I got what I wanted and my baby is sleeping much better. Problem is, I am not. It’s exactly the same, if not worse. I am glued to the monitor and when I do fall asleep, I wake up soon after in a panic in case I’ve missed something.

How the hell do I learn to calm down and sleep while my baby sleeps. I am so on edge and anxious. I don’t think it’s a PND type situation, just worry about missing something or him needing me and missing it.

If you have opinions about sleep training, please know that I thought long and hard about what was best for me and my family before taking action and really don’t have the bandwidth right now to deal with any critics, well meaning or otherwise.

Sending you lots of hugs. It seems like your body is so used to the constant wake ups that it's taking time to adjust. You are still freshly postpartum so feeling on edge or anxious is part of that at times. Is your baby in another room? If so would it help if cot was in your room for the time being it might help. Also I find that taking a magnesium supplement is great for sleep or chamomile tea.

I remember this. We sleep trained our baby at 6 months. It took me a month or so to stop worrying and get some proper sleep but it does happen and you do start to feel better. I think, like with all change, it’s best to just give it some time rather than put too much pressure on yourself to sleep (and worry about what happens if you don’t sleep). I would repeatedly tell myself that it was ok to sleep and that I would wake if he needed me, but it takes a while for your brain and body to get the message, particularly when you’ve had a really really hard few months and are so sleep deprived. It just took a few weeks for me to be confident that I would wake. Every day it will get better. Sleep training was such a life changer for us.

Ahhh sorry to hear it's so hard to sleep when they sleeping. I always wake at the slightest movements and sounds.

The only advice is have if you don't already, get a monitor that has the sensor pad. We using an Angel care one, if the baby stops moving an alarm will go off. It definitely has helped me.
My partner took the monitor downstairs the other night to stay up and watch sport. And not hearing that happy green light beep was horrible. I would panic.wake, as a pose to waking and calmly checking.
If you already have the alarm type.
Then all I can say is I'm sorry it's hard to loose so much sleep, and feel so anxious.