Struggling to cope

[Emma664]

I have a nearly 4 year old and 11 month old. I’m not coping well. The older one doesn’t listen to anything I say and runs off. It’s embarassing. I never thought I’d be one of those people but I honestly regret having children. I’m in such a dark place. My oldest can be so lovely but also so bad. I work 3 days and the days I’m off I just find having both so hard. I go to groups in the mornings but struggle in afternoon. 11 month old takes sporadic naps and just don’t dont feel like I get a break. I know some people will be like stop moaning you are lucky etc but finding it so hard. They have grandparents but they aren’t very forthcoming about helping and they have the smallest one whilst I’m at work. I have had the coil for 3 months and still bleeding which is making me feel pretty wrecked too and not sure if it’s my hormones. My eldest caught me crying upstairs and was so sweet but I don’t want her to see me like that. I thought it might be depression but on citalopram already. I just need help otherwise I’m going to lose it. I have had counselling before but nhs counselling is rubbish and I can’t afford private at the moment. My husband doesn’t understand. Sorry been rather a rant. If anyone has any suggestions that would really help!

Oh, sweetheart, please know that you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. What you're experiencing sounds incredibly tough, and it takes real courage to reach out and share it. There's no shame in admitting that parenting is hard – in fact, it's one of the most demanding jobs in the world, especially with two little ones so close in age.

It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed. You're juggling the demands of a nearly four-year-old who is testing boundaries (which is developmentally normal, even if it feels impossible!), an 11-month-old with unpredictable naps, work, and on top of all that, dealing with ongoing physical discomfort from the coil. That's a lot for anyone to handle!

I'm kinda worried about the coil. The ongoing bleeding with the coil is definitely something to get checked out again. It could be contributing significantly to how you're feeling physically and emotionally. Don't hesitate to book another appointment with your GP and advocate for yourself. Perhaps there are alternative options for contraception that would be kinder to your body.

I only have a four year old but it is hard. I work 3 days as well and have very little break. My job is demanding as well. Sometimes I book myself a day off just to myself whilst she is in nursery. Just to do what I want. I know it doesn't help overall but it gives me something to look forward to and I can do something for me! Do you have any annual leave to do that? Just an idea. Xxx

Just getting used to mumsnet so bear with me - hopefully I am replying to your message Thankyou for ur kind words. I think that’s a good idea re ringing gp. The nurse did say to be patient with coil but I can’t see anything improving at the moment. Thankyou x

That’s a good idea. I am trying to save it abit for when she goes to school and booked a long holiday in the summer. I think I’ll have a look into it though. Thankyou!