Night shifts with newborn and toddler, what do/did you do?

[Keepingbusyeating]

DC2 expected November and the only thing I am really anxious about is the nights. I am someone who needs lots of sleep, DH will take 4 weeks paternity leave but I’m wondering how to split the nights?

Assuming baby is bottle fed for various reasons.

Last time I did the week nights and DH did weekend nights but reflecting back and that’s probably why I found it so difficult 😂

Is it best to do shifts so DH does 10pm - 2am and I do 2am - 6am (wake up time for me)? Or every other night shifts?

Is a ch old less moved or cared for because the father takes over on some of the caring tasks?

We did what you did with your first, husband did Friday and Saturday nights and I did the rest. He also did any wakings of the toddler though to be fair my first was a fab sleeper so this didn’t really happen much. DS2 was a demon sleeper and was hard but husband needed to function at work. I found lots of fresh air ( DS2 was also a November baby so just wrapped him up warm) for the days with the toddler helped, he did 2 days at nursery but school hours only so I had to be up and ready to go which in many ways I think helped as it forced routine. You just learn to roll with it and maybe lower standards with the toddler on particularly tired days.

Nope, you’re right, I can’t love my children because I used the word shift to describe a period of time of duty shared by 2 people.

Waking up through the night is a duty it isn’t something I (and I’m sure I’m not alone on this) are excited to do. I have done / will do it for as long as I need to because I love my DC and put their needs before my own.

I can’t believe anybody would comment something so cruel as “loved (presumably)” to another parent. Shame on you!

My second child is now nearly one but what saved me on the days I had the toddler too (2 when he was born) was the sling. The newborn felt cuddled, and I didn’t feel he was being ignored as he came everywhere with us, and my toddler still got lots of attention. On the two days the toddler isn’t at nursery do pasta or something super quick for dinner. Buy some new toys/books for emergencies that you can pull out when you really just need the toddler
entertained. Get a bouncer and then jumperoo for the baby. I used to use the time we have guests to have one on one time with my toddler. People love cuddling newborns, the baby was happy and it helped me feel I wasn’t leaving her out. My toddler is quite shy and clingy though so yours might not struggle so much with the new baby.

I went to bed with toddler, DH did newborn wakes until
about midnight - finishing with a final ‘dream feed’. I then did any baby / toddler wakes from then.

if it was particularly awful night with the baby, he’d do early waking toddler until he left for work so I could sneak an extra hour or so from 6am