DD (9) not settling at night

[Sleepdilemma]

My DD has struggled for months going to sleep at night, she’ll repeatedly call me, or get upset and when I ask why, it will be about something that’s happened a long time ago, or something she’s worried about, she’ll say she has a stomach ache, or ear ache etc, as a means to keep me going into her room, I can’t ignore her, as she’ll continue to call me and get upset.
Has anyone had these issues before, if so, how did you over come them?
I’ve tried offering her solutions, (reading a book before bed, if she can’t sleep), being patient and reassuring her, sending her to bed earlier the following night, even removing privileges, all to no avail.
It’s really frustrating, I have little time to myself, she’s often tired in the mornings, I’m tired, as I end up going to bed later, due to catching up with house chores etc.

TIA

DC2 struggled with going to sleep (she has anxiety) for a while at a similar age. I started by laying with her for 10 minutes and then sitting outside her room for 5 or so minutes. I gradually reduced how long I lay with her in her bed but always kept sitting outside for a short while.

We would follow the same routine of a story before lights out and then sleep. I wouldn’t talk when I was in her bed and explained that if she kept chatting to me then I would go out.

We still have problems in the night but going to sleep is much better now.

Can you sort out a speaker or something for her room?
I like to listen to audio books and have done since I was a child. It stops me worrying about whatever it is, so I just listen to the story and drift off. Otherwise sometimes I can't switch my brain off and wind myself up. It's easier than reading because your still lying down in the dark.

You can get a free trial on audible to try, or there's children's content on BBC sounds of you want to try.

My ds is like this and I’m not getting any time to myself either so you have my solidarity. I’ve just come up to bed and he has come up saying he’s feeling sad and lonely. He wanted to sleep in my bed but he sleeps like an octopus with restless leg syndrome and I was waking up with back pain and irritable from poor sleep so I’m having to say no unless he’s really bad. He’s a worry wort too and it always comes out at bedtime. He’s listens to thunderstorm sounds on his Alexa every night anyway but when he can’t sleep he asks her to tell him a story. Could your Dd try that? I’m trying to just offer lots of hugs and go with it because he’s unhappy and asking for my help even if he can’t articulate it well. Is there anything going on like bullying or illness in the family that is causing her anxiety? Ds is fixated on me dying which is proving challenging because everyone dies at some point. I’m trying to think of it like when he was a baby and couldn’t communicate except by crying. I was a lone parent from the moment I found out I was pregnant so had nobody telling me what to do with him unlike with his sisters. Every time he cried I offered him the breast and it worked like magic. No matter what the problem was the breast fixed it. Now he’s 10 I’m going with lots of hugs and cuddles and trying to remember that although he’s almost as tall as me and can make a cup of tea and knows more about technology than me that he’s still a little boy who needs lots of hugs and reassurance. It’s hard to do when frustrated and tired but I figure this stage will pass and give it 3 years and I’ll be lucky to get a hug as long as no one’s watching so for now he’s going to get lots of them. I’m waffling, I know, and I’m ND so it might look like I’m making this about me but it’s my way of showing empathy and trying to communicate that I understand. Another thought: does she have bad dreams? Could she be scared to go to sleep? Sometimes I think they just need to have their mum close to them at bedtime. I wish you both peaceful nights and that this phase soon passes.

Thank you for the replies.
I could try an audio book in the background, I will suggest this and see if she is keen to try it.
I don’t think there’s anything going on that would cause her anxiety, she’s not keen on school, so it could be related to that, it could also be why bedtime dragged on tonight for a long time, as she goes back to school tomorrow. She is also very sensitive and quite highly emotional, I also think she’s prone to anxiety and overthinking.
I am going to ask her tomorrow, if she has any ideas which she feels may help her.
Thanks again all and reassuring to know I’m not alone.