Easter holiday hell

[boymama82]

Is anyone else emotionally exhausted from the 2 week holiday? We have a 3 and a 4 year old, both boys. They've got more mental, naughty and noisy as the days passed by and my husbands had my car for 3 weeks whilst he finds a new one! Today id cried twice, screamed at them and smacked one before 9am and feel like the worst mum.

We've had 3 accidents resulting in a busted lip, my 4 year old fell down concrete steps and landed on his face, then yesterday the 3 year old split his chin open after a nice Easter visit to a bike park! Arghhhhhhh, no point to this post other than to vent and see if anyone else feels the same?

I'm currently awaiting CT results (tomorrow) to see if the kidney cancer I've just had removed has spread so I've had that looming over me too

Why don't you put your 3 year old (and 4 year old if not in reception) in year round childcare rather than term time only?

I hope you get good news from the scan.

Today id cried twice, screamed at them and smacked one before 9am and feel like the worst mum.

This isn’t ok actually OP, screaming and smacking is a total loss of control. Can you ask family to step in and help? You understandably need a break. Has DH worked all over bank holiday?

I really hope you get good news from the scan.

Understandably, given the news you are waiting on tomorrow, it sounds like you are completely burnt out. But smacking them and screaming at them isn’t ok. What’s your set up? Are you a SAHM?

i agree re screaming and slapping. They are very young and that’s not on.
Is your husband there?

Screaming & slapping a 3 & 4 year old isn’t on. Your husband needs to be home and supporting you if this is what’s happening I’m so sorry about the cancer diagnosis but this is child abuse.

I won’t tell you what you already know, as it sounds like you’re feeling awful anyway. When are the kids back luv? When you have some time, just have some space to replenish and reach out to your HV. I know there’s mixed responses about them on here, but I found them invaluable for my boys behavioural problems and support for me.

OP, the bottom line is, you cannot change what’s happened, all you can do is focus on what can change in the future. Hope you get good news with your test results xx

Sounds like you need to find some childcare options asap to reset yourself. Hopefully the smacking isn’t a regular thing because that is not ok?

You need a break op, I can't believe you've been left to cope alone, is there anyone around that can help, why is your DH not supporting you?

I only smacked the back of the 3 year olds hand when he hurt his brother, I don't make a habit of slapping them. My 4 year old is off school, my husband had the weekend off and he's the most patient person ever but they really pushed him too. Thanks for the nice responses and as for the 'child abuse' one, I have no words.

I don’t agree with smacking. Also the smacking the son’s hand when he hurt his brother will not make sense to him.
hes hurt his brother and you’re telling him not do that.. by also hurting him

🫂

Ignore the child abuse responses it’s such rubbish. Keep going and ask for help if you can.

While you don’t like to hear it, smacking a child anywhere on their body is abuse. It’s illegal in Wales.

Can you ask some friends and family for support while you get through this particularly stressful period if your husband has to go to work?

Obviously screaming at and smacking young children isn’t ok. Stop doing that.

Get outside at least once every single day, lots and lots of exercise helps to burn off energy.

A smack on the hand is fine.

What's not fine is your children's behaviour. Given that they've got progressively worse, whatever you're doing isn't working. What sort of punishment and rewards are you using? How much screen time are they having?

How does smacking a child teach them that hurting their brother was wrong?

If a smack in the hand is ok (it isn’t btw), where do you draw the line?

Gosh, you urgently need a rest, OP. I hope you can get this when term starts. If you can get family in to support you with the children or afford to pay someone, now is the time. Hope your scan results are OK.

Not going to jump on the op because I know just how hard it is. I’ve got a 2 year old and a 1 year old, they are utterly exhausting.
I don’t think smacking is okay because it’s teaching to hit imo.
You need a long hot bath op and an early night if you can. I hope you get good news on your scan.

Use holiday childcare. I always have. That way I keep my sanity, can work full time and enjoy the weekends with the children more than if they were winding each other up all the time. Ignore all those who say "they're only young for a short time" blah blah. Nice if you have a family dynamic that suits that vibe but lots of us don't!

Screaming at you DCs and smacking them, no matter where it is, is not ok. It sounds like you’ve got a lot going on and you need some help. Do you have family around who can give you a break?

Yes and still one more week to go.

I agree with others, slapping and screaming at children is never acceptable. You’re under a lot of pressure at the moment so you need to be kind to yourself but take your behaviour as a wake up call that some thing which needs to change ASAP.

What can you do this week to make things eaiser? Can DH get public transport, lift share, hire a car, get a taxi or even take
some time off and have the kids for at least a day. Can you meet up with some friends, either with or without the kids? Maybe invite someone round for a playdate? Small walk to the local corner shop to buy a random item. How far are you away from library ect?

As you’re stressed the kids are probably feeding off that so I would focus on you dealing with that rather than the kids behaviour.

I hope you’re results clear tomorrow 🤞🏻

You screamed at and smacked a 3 or 4 year old? Really not okay. Ask for help if you need it, but thats really unacceptable and quite sad to read tbh.

At least they’re back tomorrow! Only 17/18 hours to go! ⏰

Not here! Back tomorrow 🥳