DD facing misogynistic treatment from peers

[BlueRaspberry7]

DD (15) has been on the receiving end of degrading comments from a couple of boys in her friendship group. These boys will whisper to each other, go on mute during group calls then return saying "[DD name] won't like that one!", make images of a finger going towards DD's avatar from below, and generally taking "creepy" jokes too far (her words). One of the boys repeatedly describes women as "objects" to dd.

DD has been upset and tearful on and off for a few weeks about this now, and has asked if she can call a helpline to talk it through. (me and DH have said yes and helped her look for a suitable one).

She is asking me if it is her fault - as she has said no to being in a relationship with both of these boys at various points.

The key thing I'm trying to communicate to her is that she does not need to tolerate this behaviour, or any behaviour that makes her feel uncomfortable. And that this is not her fault.

Can anyone advise other ways I can support her?

She absolutely should not be friends with these boys. No more calls etc with them.

I would be absolutely furious with these boys if this was my DD.
this is exactly the sort of behaviour I’d want to know about if I was one of the boys’ parents too. Reminds me of adolescence and the whole Andrew Tate mindset.
As PP said, I’d encourage other friendships outside of this circle- they have some strange ideas by the sound of things.

If these boys at school with her then report it to the school as well. Form tutor and Head of Year.

@Eagle2025 in an ideal world we’d never want her to have any contact with them again. We’ve agreed on no phone calls with these boys. Unfortunately they are at her school and part of a wider friend group that is important to her.

Yes it is difficult but any bad behaviour regardless of sex is not people you want your daughter hanging around with. She will have other friends to be with. If she is getting upset in the big group then can she raise it with others in the group so they stand by her and not allow a few in the group to be nasty towards her. If no one stands with her then doesnt sound like good friends.

@Eagle2025that’s a great suggestion, thanks.

I don't know what her wider friend group is like of course but you may get some girls who want to side with the boys to be seen as cool. Some may try and belittle your daughter for feeling that way. But hopefully some girls (and boys) will be independently minded enough to stand up for what is right and be there for their friend. If the boys in question are the popular ones in the group then maybe your daughter and closer friends need to break away from that group and form their own tight group. Those closer friendships are more likely to last and be more beneficial to her as she enters adulthood.

Yes I think there’s a useful life lesson in this about valuing herself, and which friendships to hold onto vs which to let go.

So why is she going on group calls with them?

why on earth is she still friends with them then? and why be on calls with them?

Boys like this can be taken down quite easily. They need calling out on their shitty behaviour.

They are doing it to get to her and deliberately upset her - I know they need stopped but the other option is she ignores totally and shows she doesn’t care in the least - replies with pick on someone else etc
Very,very difficult but the best if she can do it

.. and they are doing it because imv, it makes them feel powerful (which they are as they can ruin someone’s life)

She needs to cull her friendship group and set standards which she adheres to. Walk away from toxic people is a good lesson in life.