Can I aford another child

[Babyholly]

I have a 4 year old he is the light of my life. I have always thought even before having him i would have more than 1 child. I'm a twin ( have a brother) and then an older brother. My husband is an only child. There are so many reasons why I want another child,

1. I always had someone there my twin to play with etc I don't want my little one to be lonely.
2. i don't want to be lonely, just having 1 child, later in life if he gets married etc he will also be with her family.
3. I'm close with my mum do we try for a girl. Will my son be that close with me
4. This might be a stupid one. Covid stole things that I wanted to do with him. E.g. go out to place when on maternity, he was a 2nd lock down baby
5. i love being a mum. Yes he drives me crazy but I love it. And so many more reasons BUT only thing stopping us is money. We are from Wales and child care is so expensive. My son went 3 days myself, my husband and my mum had him a day each. But with a new baby that's not possible, maybe my mum but she will be 70 and my husband and I both work 5 days and won't be able to work less. My son will be off to school in September but a new baby will need to be in childcare 5 days a week. It broke my heart dropping my son of to start with. He was OK I wasn't, I got so depressed thinking I wasn't looking after him and someone else was getting all the fun with him etc I just don't think we can aford it and when older people say 'your find a way' i don't want to find a way i want to know. I so want another but know there are so many reasons we can't, but I'm so sad all the time and I don't know who to talk to, HELP!! Please

It’s impossible to say without knowing how much childcare is or if you can live on one wage for a while OP. As that would seem to be the answer if you want to stay home with a new baby anyway - lots of people tighten belts for first few years to allow a parent to stay at home. If completely impossible, including with any benefits you’d get, and childcare also impossible, then yes lots of people stick at 1 to be able to afford to give their existing child a good life. Sorry

You DO find a way. I had to quit work as we had 4 under 6 but, by starting small when the eldest went to school (worked 1 evening a week, then 2 and building up), then shifting careers, I now earn more than my husband (and still have all the childcare as I work round the gang). Life had a way of working out.

Young children don't need much other than love and care. We didn't holiday abroad (went to caravan parks), took them out to explore locally (all free) and enjoyed the simple things in life that were amazing to them (puddle adventures while the older ones scoot / ride). Childcare costs are high at the start but as they get older disappear. It's all about taking a phase at a time and enjoying them all.

You make it work. We have a 23 month gap. We’re in this weird place where we’ve seen childcare costs increase (double) but we’ve not really benefited from the roll out of funded hours. At one point our part time childcare bill, not in the SE, was over £2500 a month. It’s hard and we have no savings left. For our eldest we had parental help but due to ill health we haven’t for our second. They’re in childcare 4 days now as reducing my hours made financial sense. We don’t holiday (we only have free ones, staying with family etc). And it’s hard watching friends who have help with childcare or only one child who are able to do AI holidays or a fun day out. We simply can’t afford to. We can’t afford clubs or swimming lessons. But we went out the other day and my youngest spent a good 30 minutes just jumping in puddles. They’re loved, have everything they need, and frankly want for nothing. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I know it will be easier when my eldest starts school (also September). I don’t think you can rationalise having a second child to be honest. You either want one or you don’t. Logically a second made no sense, but they laugh and play together, and I wouldn’t miss that because of cost.

No 2 is a bloody awful reason to have a child!!!