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Mums of MN who have been good looking their whole life with kids who are most definitely NOT good looking, how does that make you feel?

44 replies

Luckylovee · 20/04/2025 22:26

Mums of MN who have been good looking their whole life with kids who are most definitely NOT good looking, how does that make you feel?

Obviously you still love them, but what thoughts or concerns do you have about your children’s appearance and how it may or may not affect their life?

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Solocatmum · 21/04/2025 12:04

ScienceDragon · 21/04/2025 12:00

The only things I ever wanted to see in my children were intelligence and good character. Doesn't matter how attractive people are, if they are as dumb as dogshit. Unless of course, the future you are envisaging for your children is as arm candy.

Good character is obviously the most important and that’s something can be worked on, developed etc.

But why intelligence… raw intelligence is just a fluke of nature as much as good looks. In each case, can work hard with books or makeup. In each case, great looks or great brains can get a person far in life.

Lascivious · 21/04/2025 12:06

It shouldn’t be, but life is easier if you’re attractive. My husband is very good looking, but not very tall. Our sons are very good looking AND tall. I’ll admit we worried a bit they’d be short like their dad. But they inherited my tall gene. Shallow of us, but there it is.

Screamingabdabz · 21/04/2025 12:08

Did you post the other day? Disappointed by your DD’s big teeth and gawky looks? Any parent who thinks like that is a disgrace.

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MonkeyHarold · 21/04/2025 12:21

Many years ago, the woman in the flat above me was pregnant. My daughter was about a year at the time so perhaps she (flat above) thought I was an expert in such matters. This woman was most and genuinely concerned that she wouldn't know if her baby, when born, was attractive. This was because her sister in law had said to her own baby, that she was so beautiful. According to the pregnant woman, this wasn't the case at all. In fact her niece looked like a squirrel! I did say that we all think our babies are beautiful but she said "What if they're not and I think she/he is?" I tried to reassure her but she wasn't having it. When her baby was born, he was extraordinarily good looking. I'm not sure she believed me when I told her. 😄

Dillydollydingdong · 21/04/2025 12:24

I'm beautiful and my kids are too. And my grandkids are gorgeous 😍

Bigfatsunandclouds · 21/04/2025 12:27

Are you asking people how they feel if their children are ugly? Wow. Are you bored or looking for a story?

Beamur · 21/04/2025 12:29

It's a funny question.
I think objectively my Mum was prettier than me but I don't think she thought so.
I can think of a couple of very attractive women with pretty average looking kids. No idea if they see it like that or have any thoughts about it!

Bigfatsunandclouds · 21/04/2025 12:32

Solocatmum · 20/04/2025 22:40

People will judge you but it’s a legitimate thing to think about.

i’m not ugly (I hope) but definitely not attractive. My life, in particular friendships and love life, have been less easy than pretty friends.

I am quite relieved my daughter appears, so far, to be fairly pretty.

I think looks matter less for boys, and a gift at something can make up for plain looks. As can humour and charisma.

For girls, humour and charisma doesn’t get them as far: it’s the ultimate unsaid but prettiness helps (as you as a good looking person would have noted). But things are easier these days - good makeup makes a difference. Those who are gifted (at sport or music or whatever), academic or just less social may be less fussed. But even if girls are fussed, a lot can be done to “up the game” compared to 25 years ago.

Don't judge yourself for thinking it - plenty of people on here will care a great deal about whether their kids are clever. That’s luck of the genes as much being good looking.

😱 so boys can get away with humour and charisma but girls can't? I'm not saying pretty privilege isn't a thing but come on - this is misogynistic.

Beamur · 21/04/2025 12:34

My DD told me off for speculating about a friend of mine who has 2 daughters - one of whom was noticeably a more attractive child and if she noticed or not. It's a pretty shallow thing to think about!
Interestingly the girls have both grown up much more similar looking 😄

MaggieBsBoat · 21/04/2025 12:34

One of my babies was interesting shall we say when they were born. When I commented on it when she was a baby people were askance and of course I said that I wouldn’t say it again or certainly not when she could understand language. She morphed into a stunningly beautiful teen. You can’t make that shit up. When people see the baby photos they can’t reconcile the difference mentally. All my other babies were conventionally good looking and are now conventionally good looking older kids/adults. This one daughter though is like some glittery star when she walks in the room.

Whynotaxthisyear · 21/04/2025 12:36

Roaringlions · 20/04/2025 22:57

I think most people think their children are beautiful even if objectively they aren't.

I agree. So often parents and grandparents refer to their 'beautiful children' who are perfectly nice looking but not outstanding in any way.

Solocatmum · 21/04/2025 12:36

Bigfatsunandclouds · 21/04/2025 12:32

😱 so boys can get away with humour and charisma but girls can't? I'm not saying pretty privilege isn't a thing but come on - this is misogynistic.

Show quote history

As a not good looking woman, yes, I think boys can successfully play on their characters more than girls can. And I think it’s really really rotten and I wish it wasn’t case. Maybe it won’t be in another 20 years (I really hope it changes). Some exceptions obviously but I think broadly true of my generation and experience though. You only have to watch the TV to see that the male actors and presenters are a broad range of looks, but women tend (not exclusively of course)
to be reasonable good looking.

DoYouReally · 21/04/2025 12:40

It's just as well you're good-looking because your conversation starters are rubbish.

Maybe you see looks as important and they are if there's nothing else to rely on but don't worry about the children, I'm sure they'll manage to overcome their hideous misfortune.

TheAutumnCrow · 21/04/2025 12:40

CottageGoblin · 20/04/2025 22:32

Feels like journo investigation

I had to read it three times to understand it, so yeah could well be a freelance journo fishing away for a pitch to the DM.

SPAG is often not their strong suit.

Fabulousagain · 21/04/2025 13:30

Never wanted kids so will never have to worry about how they look.

Superscientist · 21/04/2025 14:08

If I was in this position I'd get therapy.
My teens and twenties and a chunk of my 30s were blighted by eating disorders and poor self image put on me by mother who held us to a certain aesthetic ideal. I know the pain of growing up not good enough for your mother because of your looks and wouldn't want another generation to suffer in the same way. My two sisters have also been blighted by eating disorders as a result too.

PullTheBricksDown · 21/04/2025 14:21

Schools go back tomorrow, I believe?

ohyesido · 21/04/2025 14:31

Other people’s children are always hideous.

Iamaverysillyperson · 21/04/2025 17:16

I'm very plain/probably ugly and my DC definitely aren't conventionally 'pretty', but they're my beautiful babies 'til the end of time.

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