Okay, OP. Im going to be brutally honest here.
I have split up.from my ex due to cheating
Sorry this happened. It has no bearing on your separation or childcare, or your child safety though. The court isn’t going to want to know about this at all.
and abuse from him towards my 4 year old daughter
this is more troubling. You need to document what abuse you are talking about and if you can write dates and times. I hate to say it but you also need to say why you didn’t step into protector. Social services don’t like Parents not protecting their children from an abusive parent and neither judges in court. It looks like there really wasn’t anything wrong and you’re just making it up because you’re trying to get to your ex bywithdrawing child access. Most of the time that is not the case but it does happen, and so they automatically assume that it is. it’s not a lost cause though. Sometimes people who are in an abusive situation don’t feel they can stand up for their child (or themselves), And that is why it is imperative you speak to the NCDV.
he never wanted her was never interested in her but wanted access to her,
Why do you think this is? It’s obviously to control you isn’t it? Come on. you need to wise up here.
we went through mediation and sorted arrangements
This was a terrible mistake. If he is appeasing your daughter, which is why you say you left, why the hell are you going to mediation to send her to him? You really need to wake up and stop. You should talk to the social services and you should talk to the Ncdv today.
now he has her the same thing with arguments in front of my daughter happened this week
Which qs we know, is a type of abuse.
his girlfriend told me he doesn't want her at theirs and is nasty and taking it out on my daughter
Continued abuse, allowed by the mother? Stop it!
and he sent her home as he didn't want her
So this part is confusing. If he sent her home because he doesn’t want her then why are you still sending her back?
so this part is confusing. If he sent her home because he doesn’t want her then why are you still sending her back?
I let her stay there as her gran was there so I knew she would be ok and wanted to spend time with them
Was she okay that time?
Since leaving his house she has told me that her dad doesn't want her and that she doesn't want to go to his without me
If you don’t protect her, who will?
he has also sat her in the car like an adult with no seat etc and wasn't bothered for her safety
There is no evidence of this, but you can say, you really need professional advice about this.
... I have said she isn't to go there until I seek legal advice about this, am I doing the right thing ?
Seek legal advice immediately and talk to the Ncdv. You can’t do this alone. You are too enmeshed.