How often do I need to use a dummy?

[DogMom62]

Apologies if this question has already been asked.

I’m a FTM to a 1 month old, didn’t intend to use dummies as she was perfectly happy being soothed by me and sleeps quite well for her young age. However, a few nights ago she wouldn’t settle for anyone or anything for almost 2 hours - she’s not much of a cryer, more of a whinge and moaner, which still wasn’t nice to listen to. So my Mom suggested a dummy, much to my partner’s delight as he’s been saying we should use one for a few weeks now as he struggles to settle her on his own.

Baby actually really likes it! What I’m struggling with is the NHS & Lullaby Trust recommendation to use a dummy for all sleep times to help protect against SIDS. Sometimes my baby falls asleep on her own straight after bottle feeding or burping on our shoulder and then won’t take the dummy, so we’re putting her back to sleep without it. Is this a problem and does it indicate that I shouldn’t be using a dummy? What about car journeys? She always falls asleep in the car but I don’t really want to give her a dummy in the car if I don’t need to.

Any advice welcome, also happy to be told I’m overthinking it and just roll with what baby wants.

I honestly wouldn't overanalyze this. If she is awake and takes the dummy and falls asleep then great. If not then don't bother.

(I'm not a fan of dummies though, just another thing to have to remove later on and so never bothered)

We didn't do dummys until a similar age, DS was breastfed and preferred the boob but after a bad day with him, very unsettled and crying. We offered a dummy and same as yours, he loved it ! We just sort of went with what he wanted. If he fell asleep at boob, I wouldn't force the dummy in him. It was more if he was upset/struggled to settle I gave him it. Worked a treat. I wouldn't overthink it and just go with however baby is feeling at the time 🫶 oh and congrats on your new baby girl 🥰

Ps, my cousin gave her DD a dummy all the time, even when she was absolutely fine, and now she's 2 and it's in her mouth pretty much 24/7. Which is fine, but it's impacting her speech, so I would be wary of using it all the time x

Both mine had dummies (my oldest was given his by nicu). At the minute she might not be too bothered and fall asleep with or without it. She’s might become more attached. She might not.

the reduced SIDS risk is just that. It’s a
small reduction. If it made such a huge difference the nhs would push dummies a lot harder.

and fwiw my 9 and 23 year old have fine teeth, can talk (dear god they can talk) and sleep without a dummy now.

congratulations on your little one.

Hi dummies are not good. It stops the child from talking.

I second this. My 1 month old didn’t even try to speak due to having a dummy in her mouth.

You doing fantastic as a mum. The overthinking is normal, it just ahows that you care and wqnt the best for your baby. This post so reminds me of how I felt just two months ago on this same thing (which feels like a lifetimes).

Some newborns are just so snuggly and easy, it's as the babies age they develop more and get more of their personality. Which can be that Angel baby, or in my case the touchy baby.

Just use the Dummies when your little one takes them, don't.force it or you can put them off. Also if they suddenly don't like it try a different brand, babies change their minds. I've got though brands to find the one... as long as you keeping them clean and sterilised.

A lot of other things reduce SIDS, it's about collectively doing a bunch of safety things together. My DS will sleep with a dummie one day, next he don't want it.

Just enjoy the moments and take pictures and videos.

Also use dummies to sooth, or when the baby needs it. You can take it out when they playing, or you interacting so they can babble back. Mine now spits it when it's time to interact. And has it when it's nap, or when he is having a bad day. They won't stop talking then, because they learnt to enjoy it in moments.

Dummies don't stop children talking if they only have them for sleeping.

Signed, a retired Speech and Language Therapist whose DC both had dummies (there was always a joke at work when someone admitted to using dummies and we had to make a cross with our fingers akin to warding off vampires 😁

Just as and when she needs it. They're a life saver for car journeys and those early days if they're resisting sleep. My three have always had them when tiny but given them up by 6-8 months when they started interfering with sleep and weren't needed in the day time.

Thank you so much for all your responses. I feel more confident in following baby’s wants than trying to force something to follow guidelines, I’m glad many of you agree!

She’ll only even be given a dummy to soothe to sleep when she needs it. I’m heavy on not giving it her all the time as I’m aware of a) high dependency on the dummy and b) affecting speech and development in the long run.

It can cause a child in some to have a lisp.

I know it can be used to keep a child quiet. This is not a good thing to use. Throw it away. If you also add some flavour it can cause tooth decay

I find your comments most unhelpful, I didn’t ask for opinions on using a dummy full stop, I asked for opinions on how often to use it as per the current guidelines. I’ve never heard of any child developing a lisp from limited use of a dummy, another poster on this thread stated her own children used dummies and she was a trained speech and language therapist.

As for flavouring a dummy and causing tooth decay, nobody mentioned such a thing. It’s common sense to not do that considering my child is 1 month old and cannot be given anything other than breast milk or formula.

I introduced a dummy at one month old, it was very helpful until around 5 months when baby learned how to take it out (but not replace it!) at which point we removed it cold turkey. We had one hard night and they LO was fine without it. We would only give it for sleep so I could encourage my LO to make noises.
Use it if it works for you, and not if it doesn't! If your baby is happy to fall asleep without one, no need to pop a dummy in just for the sake of it.

Just to note the NHS and Lullaby trust say that 'there is some research to suggest' that dummies reduce SIDS risk and that this research isn't proven to be reliable. Further studies have suggested there is no reduction of risk.

I used a dummy adhoc for my little one. She didn't have it every night, or through the night - just sometimes to settle her to sleep. I think we used it until 6-9 months, had absolutely no problems taking it away and she didn't want or have it any other time of day.
If your little one doesn't want it all the time then great, and if they do then that's fine too. Just be led by baby and ignore those that are saying your 1 month old will struggle to talk 😅

I'd honestly not use it, so many things that you introduce help in the short term, then cause long term issues and make it harder when you want to stop it

If your baby settles well without, I don’t see a need to introduce one. So long as you’re following all the other safe sleep guidance you’re fine. We did give one around 4 months for sleep only with DD but she was never wedded to it and when we decided to get rid permanently at 11 months (DD had no teeth at all until a year!) she barely noticed. DS is 17 weeks and deeply uninterested though I’d quite like if he’d accept one 🫠😂

Hi,

I know this is an older post but commenting to help others.

If your baby falls asleep at the breast without the dummy you do not need to give them a dummy if they do not want it, as the Lullaby Trust advise not to force a dummy.

If in the car and having a nap they advise they should have a dummy, as they are recommended to start off each sleep whether night time sleep or day time nap. You do not need to replace it if it falls out, though. :)