Going from one to two

[jollydollyirl]

Hi all. Currently have a 20 month old who’s going through a clingy phase with multiple night wakings (was great up until recently).

Due a baby next month and while I’ll have DH at home for the first month, I’m really starting to worry about how I’ll manage two mostly on my own - DH works long hours.

Anyway, I’d love any advice that you could offer or tips for the first few months. TIA

I think it's luck of the draw how your older child will react. Ours loves her baby brother so that has made it easier. One thing we tried to do were not get dragged into the rut of dad doing everything with older child and mam doing everything with baby.

Is your DH off completely for the 1st month?

Yes completely off for first month luckily! Planned section however so I’m not sure how much help I’ll be!

In that case I wouldn't get too bogged down now, and just see what happens when the baby gets here. Id just keep working on getting the 20 month old back into a good sleep routine and everything else will work itself out. You'll do great. You've got this.

Hi OP! Such an exciting time for you.

My children are almost 4y, 22m and 15 days old. Obviously, every baby and birth and set of circumstances is different, but I have found the addition of each new baby easier than the previous one. 0-1 was the toughest adjustment by far, whilst 2-3 has been bliss so far! Everything is so overwhelming with your first, and by number two I was wondering why I’d found it so difficult when newborns are far easier than toddlers (though I think my first was more “tricky” so some of that is luck). Hopefully you will be the same!

On a practical level, a sling was invaluable and the new babies have both spent a lot of time in this so that my hands are free whilst I keep baby close (your husband could wear it whilst you recover from surgery). Also, your eldest will be a similar age to mine have been when meeting their little siblings (24m and 22m) - they both went a bit bezerk for the first week or so but both settled very quickly. We tried to keep their day-to-day routine as similar as possible and just allow the new baby to slot in to that.

I have a 2 year old and 9 week old, so right in the thick of it! Is your eldest at nursery/childminder at all? Mine does 3 days a week, which has been a god send.

Yes!! It's absolutely true you'll find your older child is trickier than the newborn (unless you have an unusually compliant toddler). Be prepared to feel a little sad about your changing relationship with your eldest. I have a 3yr old and a 7m old. While the 3yr old is still a mummy's boy, it was a shock to us both when he was no longer my sole focus. It's hard balancing the needs of two children.

As a heads up, my son's sleep went awful for about 6wks after his baby sister arrived. DD is bf, so DP and I ended up sleeping separately. I dealt with the baby's night wakings and DP with my son's. I know a few people who had similar issues with their first child feeling unsettled and sleeping badly after the arrival of a second child.

It's lovely when I get the chance to spend alone time with my son. I think he needs this too. We like to go to the park for an hour.

You'll probably find the new baby is much better at going with the flow than your first child! Mine was at softplay from 5 days old, and sleeping through it. She'll sleep through most things!