My oldest son is 6, on the waiting list for autism assessment.
I left his dad 3 years ago, he’s very emotionally intelligent and has a very good understanding of situations. He seemed to take it all in his stride, he talked about things that bothered him and his confidence grew rapidly in our new home (dad doesn’t believe he has any issues so they clashed a lot)
hes happy seeing his dad and staying over for one night, anymore and he gets really upset. He sleeps over once mid week and once every other weekend.
when he’s home with me he has to know where I am at all times. At bedtime if he can hear me moving about downstairs he’s fine but if I sit down and it goes quiet he’s running downstairs in a panic. I can’t even take the bin out without him watching me. If I get him in the car to go out and realise I’ve left something inside I have to take him out the car so he can come, he cannot wait in the car, he gets hysterical, shaking and uncontrollably crying.
i asked his dad if he did it there and he said no. He said he’s just manipulating me and I pander to him, he wouldn’t dare behave like that at his house. He used to come home from his dads really wound up, he doesn’t now but he does come in and sits on my lap and needs a big cuddle for a good 5-10 minutes and then he’ll up and go off and do his own thing.
I assume he’s putting on a brave face at dads because he can’t tell his dad when things trigger him. But then his dad’s words bothers me and I do have moments of worry where I question if I am making him this way.
what do you thinks going on? Is there anything I can do to ease his anxiety here? I’m not aware of a starting point to this behaviour, I’ve never left him in the car or he’s never not been able to find me.