I've just had the worst bedtime with my two DDs - toddler (3 years 9 months) and baby (5 months). My eldest was always such a gem, and we always counted ourselves lucky as she was a relatively chilled toddler!! However since turning 3.5 she has pushed boundaries more and more. I also find myself so upset some nights as we've lost our connection since the birth of her little sister. DD2 is EBF and refuses a bottle, DD1s dad has been taking over her bedtime whilst I sort youngest - I haven't put her down to bed since DD2s arrival, the few times we tried I always ended up having to try and settle/feed DD2.
Tonight DH is at the football and I've flown solo for bedtime for the first time in months. It has been nothing short of a disaster - DD1 constantly waking DD2, messing and being deliberately noisy. She's pushed all the boundaries and I've found it so infuriating. I really shouted at her, I feel awful. We are doing an egg hunt tomorrow at her grandparents and I've told her she isn't doing it anymore - I don't know why I said it, it didn't help the situation and I think I was just at the end of my tether. I feel so awful now, I don't think I've ever shouted at her before - certainly not in the way I did tonight. I'm so worried we're losing our bond, I adore her so much and she is such a loving big sister but her behaviour towards me in particular is really draining. I don't know what I'm after with this thread - I've found going from 1 child to 2 so unbelievably challenging (DD2 has CMPA and severe reflux so it's been a tough start). I'm touched out, emotional and feel like I'm failing both children. Currently in bed with youngest asleep on me and eldest curled up in our bed next to me!!