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Parenting

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6 year old: disruptive behaviour due to neurodivergence- what to do. Meds?

11 replies

KDD2KIDS · 17/04/2025 12:23

Hi, I am just wondering what people have tried in my position.

We have a 6 year old son who has been diagnosed by an occupational therapist with proprioception sensory seeking needs (which tends to overlay with ADHD/ASD though we have no formal diagnosis yet). The diagnosis definitely makes sense however the occupational therapy is unclear how much difference it makes. We have really done our homework on both how to help him and gentle parenting. We do our best to avoid 'triggers,' we give him lots of physical activity and we talk about the various zones of activation. Our life is very much structured around his neurodivergence.

At school he is successful enough at masking and often capable of hyper focus so long as he isn't asked to sit on the floor while learning for example which is very difficult for him.

At home however it is a different story. Beyond managing his chronic sleep issues (which at least are improving), his impulse control and resulting violent and verbal outbursts and relentless throughout the day. He also seems to be getting kind of mean which I think is a sign of how frustrated he is. And also maybe a reaction to how he feels he is treated (we do our best not to shout/ get too angry but I have to admit particularly due to the way he treats his sister I am not capable of that). I even receive my own therapy to cope with being his mum.

All in all I guess we're at the point of wondering about either medication of a more intensive out of school program because family life has got so bleak I worry not just about the long term impact on my son but also on his sister. However as things are fine enough at school it would need to be a) self funded and b) I question if it is just something I am getting wrong at home.

Any advice is really appreciated

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 17/04/2025 12:26

Is he already on the pathway for adhd / ASD ? GPs can’t prescribe adhd meds - you’d need a diagnosis and the clinic generally prescribes if appropriate.

Peony1897 · 17/04/2025 13:28

Does he have a tablet?

TaupePanda · 17/04/2025 13:54

I have 2 ND kids and recognise many of their behaviours as my own, as a child. So my thoughts are based on my experience with them and also what I wish people had done for me when I was younger. Some of this may be teaching you to sucks eggs but maybe something will help...

  1. Speak to the school about whether there are any spaces where he can have some 'unmasking' time. He is saving that all up for home and that overwhelm is then so big he is super aggressive with it. My youngest goes into the sensory room and goes berserk everyday for a few minutes after lunch to release his energy and makes a difference.
  2. St John's Wort - its for anxiety but we give it to my eldest and it does help to mellow him out at times (plus it is natural so no prescription needed)
  3. Gladiator sticks - relatively harmless and good for getting aggression out; we also have a dummy body and they bash away and no one gets hurt (unless they go after each other, which does happen)
  4. Martial arts - these are so great as it is both about contact but also self-discipline
  5. Sensory swing - my youngest adores it and I have to admit I also really like it
  6. A crash mat - my son just chucks himself on it again and again for like 15 minutes. And that seems to get at his sensory seeking itch when he needs it
  7. Trampolining club
  8. Adrenaline sports - my 6 year old loves mountain biking and I think it is the adrenaline that he is into
  9. Weighted blankets - just nice to lie under. My son and I have one each and we make a sort of fort, which we both quite like for calming down

Final one - have you been to the doc about his sleep? First time I went to a sleep clinic I was about 8 and it was quite scary but they also did identify a few things to help me. I admit I am still a really bad sleeper but my mum swears I improved after seeing a doc.

Good luck - ND kids can be really tough. Keep reaching out for support and try not to be hard on yourself when you have a yelling moment or something - you're only human!!

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FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 17/04/2025 18:30

@TaupePanda I'm shamelessly stealing some of these ideas for my 5 year old - especially the crash mat!!

TaupePanda · 17/04/2025 18:49

FiveWhatByFiveWhat · 17/04/2025 18:30

@TaupePanda I'm shamelessly stealing some of these ideas for my 5 year old - especially the crash mat!!

The crash mat is amazing. Most people wouldn't enjoy it but my son just chucks himself on it for ages. And then he'll sit and just play cars which is crazy because 20 minutes before he'll be absolutely manic!

Inarutinarut · 17/04/2025 20:20

School needs to be putting strategies in place as if he has a diagnosis. You need a meeting with the SENCo and he needs lots of opportunity for sensory input and regulation in school.

stefanmort · 19/04/2025 02:07

My daughter has ADHD, now she is 5 years old. Probably, all parents in a similar situation understand what it is like to prepare such a child for school. She is very restless. Not so long ago, I find worksheets for her, and she began to remember information better. There are many free coloring pages for preschoolers on the site. Jane loves flowers, and they helped her to concentrate her attention. Maybe it will help someone :) https://wunderkiddy.com/coloring/flower-3 flower coloring page

Free Printable Flower Coloring Pages for Kids & Adults

Flower — printable coloring pages for children. Simple coloring templates for preschool to develop creativity and pre-writing skills. Print gratis PDFs here.

https://wunderkiddy.com/coloring/flower-3

1SillySossij · 19/04/2025 02:32

What medication are you thinking of??
This proprioceptive thing isn't listed as a condition on the NHS website.

BunnyRuddington · 19/04/2025 06:48

I don’t think a diagnosis would have to be self funded? Have you asked the SENCO flot observe him?

Secretsquirels · 19/04/2025 10:23

It’s worth having a look at the book Finally Focused by James Greenblatt. It talks through lots of nutrient deficiencies which commonly arise for children with adhd and how to correct for them. It hasn’t been completely life transforming for us like it has for some people, but it has made a significant continuous improvement over the last 18 months. We just buy the supplements off Amazon and have used a private blood test clinic for the tests but it would possibly be feasible to fight for the testing on the nhs.

The explosive child is the second book I would recommend reading. It’s a bit old fashioned but it’s a really helpful view for dealing with these sort of behaviours.

If you’re happy to pay for private support the Key Clinic has also been brilliant for us. Their nutrient testing program predominantly covers the same areas as the first book I recommended.

KDD2KIDS · 20/04/2025 09:53

Thank you so so much for the incredibly thoughtful and helpful responses. Taking on all of these tips.

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