2.5 year old won’t get dressed to leave the house

[ellie1789]

Hi,

I’m looking for some tips for my tricky son to get him dressed and leave the house. He does it for everyone else but me and his dad, except when it’s football. He’ll get dressed for that. I’ve tried letting him choose his outfit, distracting him, forcing it on, leaving without him etc, and nothing works. He’s fussy with clothes and textures, but for others will wear them. He initially hides and smiles as it’s a game. I try to be firm but he ends up crying and taking the clothes off. I’m a SAHM with a 6 month old too, and it feels like we spend all of our time at home as my 2.5 year old is so tricky to manage. He’s been hypersensitive since he was born, and I don’t think he was ADHD nor autism. He certainly has traits of both but I think he’s just being a determined and clever child. I think pre-school will help but am slightly nervous for how we’ll get there on time. I’d get him dressed in the car if I could but he currently won’t even put his nappy on and I think it’ll be too hard to do with him he prams and car seats in the car too

I’m so tired and overstimulated from breastfeeding and being at home with two. Any tips would be appreciated as this has been going on for a long time now

I had some success with getting a roll of paper drawing around my child (and drawing face etc) and getting them to ‘dress the drawing’ to choose the clothes they would wear the next day and leaving it laid out the night before. Then undressing the drawing and putting the clothes on the next day.

It’s a bit of a faff but might be worth a try. After a week or so of this it seemed to have broke the negativity and got him in a better routine.

It is horrible when they go through these phases, and feels as if it will never end. No real tips as each child is different. Has he tried playing in the garden when it’s chilly to see if being warm is preferable (no good if he doesn’t feel the cold!)? Are there any favourite clothes, even if he wears the same thing every day for a while? Extreme solution but as he is only 2 you could put him to bed in tracksuit bottoms etc and simply get up and go out?

Just put his clothes on and take him out the door, he doesn't have to like it. Giving him choices and dragging out the process is probably only adding to the difficulty.

My daughter had a phase like this, sometimes we'd be all set to go and she'd take it all back off again. I think it was a sensory thing, she liked certain textures and things to be quite fitted. Had long stretches where she would wear swimsuits under her clothes, or the thermal shirts. I just tried to get things that felt comfortable. If he gets dressed for football, is that because hevlikes to go, or is the clothes that he likes?

If he's fussy with clothes and textures, I'd go with what's comfortable for him as far possible. What sort of clothes does he prefer? Football kits are usually quite loose, soft, and silky – maybe that's what feels comfortable to him? (Or maybe he just really loves football.)

If he's going without a nappy for a good amount of time at home without having accidents, you could try potty training (sorry!). Nappies aren't the most comfortable, so he might be motivated by an alternative, and that could at least remove one part of the struggle.

Oh I feel you! What's he wearing to bed at the moment? If its an uphill struggle every day, I would honestly try once and then let him go out in whatever he has on. Just take something to cover him up with. That removes the novelty of it being a game he plays with you. If he's underdressed, he'll experience the natural consequence of being too cold, which you can then explain is because he's not wearing the right clothes. You can get him to cover up in the moment and agree to wear more appropriate clothes the next morning. Rinse, repeat.

If he's fine, you can point out that nobody else at the stay and play or wherever is wearing their nighttime clothes and see if that works. If not, don't worry. It's a phase he will grow out of. Not something worth fighting over or isolating yourselves for when you're knackered with a breastfeeding baby to take care of!

Agree with PP re. potty training (I'm sorry too!) Nappies are a bain. Would pull-ups be more comfy for him? Or training pants?

Mine hated choices @ellie1789 it just overwhelmed him at that age. Pick his clothes and get them on basically - stuff you know is comfortable etc. My son loved correcting us - so we'd get his get Duggee top out and say oh look it's your Bluey top and he'd be so busy correcting us, we'd just get him dressed whilst he was more manageable!

I also agree with potty training, mine hated nappies and was potty trained at just before 2, he was overjoyed at not wearing nappies anymore!

My twins used to sleep in their (clean) clothes when this nonsense was going on. Saved a battle in the morning!

Brilliant idea