Newborn phase

[LateNightTalk]

DP isn’t stepping up and frankly is being miserable and ruining my newborn phase with DD. Always moaning about one thing or another and feels like he sees her as an inconvenience.. I’m hoping it’s just a short lived thing but I’m losing hope and getting more tempted to show him the door..

Anybody else’s partner been like this and relationship survived?

Has he always been like this? If not he’s probably not handling the stress and change well which is impacting his mood. not an excuse for not stepping up though! Why isn’t he helping you or at least trying?

He already has a son and is a great dad.. he just says he’s not good at the newborn stage but all he seems to do is moan about how little sleep he’s had or be negative if she is upset, he has no patience for a crying newborn and just acts like it’s an inconvenience for him

Some people are just truly useless when sleep deprived. We did split shifts with my son as a newborn. He’d take him when I went to bed at 8pm and he’d bring him in to me around 12/1am. I’d express milk so he could give him a bottle during those hours and then I’d feed him when he was brought back in. My husband coped better with a later night than disrupted sleep in the 2nd half of the night.

He’s also not the most patient with the now toddler whinging. Again, we take it in turns and divide duties. I’m more patient and tolerant to the fussing, whereas he’s so much better at the play activities. I can only tolerate so long playing cars or dinosaurs or following a spider on the ground for 20mins. My husbands ability to play is endless.

Sleep deprivation can turn even the most chilled person into an arsehole. The newborn phase is the total trenches! It’s not an excuse to strop about though. He’s a father, he needs to step up.

How old is your baby? Some people are not confident with caring for a newborn, and of course this will only come with practise. Everything shouldn’t be falling to you - is your partner at least looking after you to ensure that you’re eating and drinking etc if you’re doing the majority of the parenting? It sounds like he may not have bonded with the baby that well just yet, and probably would do through settling her, nappies, baths etc.