Nanny or nursery for 3 YO?

[Testhelppp]

Hi all.

DD2 is due at the end of the year, when DD1 will be 3 YO. I am a SAHM.

We currently have a nanny for 1 day per week who DD LOVES. I had planned on sending DD2 to nursery this year for 2-3 half days per week too in order to get her used to a childcare setting prior to pre-school next year. However, our nanny has an extra two days available later this year and we’re now considering just upping our Nanny’s hours rather than sending DD1 to nursery.

How vital is it that a 3/3.5 YO ‘gets used’ to a nursery environment? She will be starting pre-school in September 2026 - would it benefit her to be used to a childcare setting prior to this, or is the whole point of pre school to get them used to school prior to reception?

DD is incredibly bright and I’m not worried about her being ‘behind’ with anything other than being around other children. We do attend toddler groups and socialise with friends with similar aged children a couple of times a week.

Any advice on Nanny v Nursery in this instance?! We could afford to do both, but I feel that 2/3 days with a Nanny plus 2 half days at a nursery is too much, considering that I am a SAHM!

What's the reasons for the childcare then if you're a SAHM? Surely that aids the decision. Most SAHM just send them to preschool /nursery at 3 for their funded hours.

Also intrigued how you know you're having a DD2 when the end if the year is 7/8 months away?

We have our Nanny as DH’s work schedule is hectic and it allows me some time to myself.
DD will be nearly 4 by the time she starts pre-school.

I would say the end of the year is October/November/December - no?

If I could have had a nanny a couple of days and been a SAHM that would have been heaven!

If she loves the nanny, and the nanny takes her to groups (playgroups, activities etc) then I’d stick with that. She’ll still get to go to pre school in 2026. Bonus you won’t get all the nursery germs while the baby is little.

If she's starting pre-school in 2026 then I wouldn't put her in a different nursery now, keep her with the nanny she loves and she can do play groups and activities.

Me personally, I would choose a nursery that she can stay at all the way to school age. I don’t think there’s an advantage to switching to a “preschool”.

The reason I say that is because the advantage of a nanny is that they are, in part, based in the home. But you’ll also be home and giving all your attention to a new sibling. It means your nanny has to spend all 3 days doing ‘days out’ or you have a 3 year old screaming on the other side of the wall for mummy for an hour while you try to get baby down for a nap. Do not underestimate sibling jealousy and the terrible 3’s! I think it would be quite challenging all co-existing together 3 days a week.

And then I’d say the other advantage of nursery is proper friendships and socialisation. I don’t think you get this with a nanny and toddler groups. What I mean is the development of genuine ongoing friendships. Both of mine had really lovely close friendships at that age with other children from nursery, not just see you once a week for 2 hours in the park. My eldest is in secondary school now and still keeps in touch with her first friend from nursery (we’ve since moved 2 hours away).

The socialisation is important too, and it’s the stuff that you don’t just get at a play session. It’s having communal meals together, serving food out to everyone, helping tidying up if someone spilled something, looking out for each other on a walk to the playground, comforting a friend who is upset about a lost toy. It’s more than just sharing and turn taking, and I don’t think you get this with a nanny going to a weekly messy play session.

Given the timing I would leave things for now. Dd will get every bug going at that time of year. Maybe start nursery Easter 2026 and just go through to school unless there is a special reason for pre school. They only usually run term time, school hours only so are a bit out of date really. Nursery is very good for children.