CHILD MAINTENANCE

[Agentspencerreid]

Ok looking for some advice. I’ve just sent in a child maintenance application for my child’s father (Scotland). I haven’t had contact with him for almost 3 months and he hasn’t seen her since then. He hasn’t financially contributed as much as a nappy, it’s time I do something about it. I was happy to arrange maintenance privately but seen as he wants to go no contact, I have resolved to this.

I am concerned that he will deny parentage to avoid maintenance, he is a bum and will not be amused that I have taken this step. He will do anything to avoid this. I am not familiar with this system, I have read as much information that is available to me, from what I gather… if Mr Bum denies parentage, CMS can offer DNA testing. He knows he is hers, although we weren’t in a relationship at time of conception, he may genuinely have his doubts (despite accepting her as his daughter already, his family have contact with us too). I’m concerned that he will commit parentage fraud and send someone on his behalf to complete the DNA test for a negative result, I know a family member of mine’ father done this to avoid maintenance.

I know this may sound far fetched but he genuinely is immature and insane. Does anyone know the process of the DNA testing, if and how they confirm the persons identity at the time of testing. I’d like to hope that there is procedures in place to avoid this type of fraudulent behaviour, but forgive me for having 0 faith in the system. Not to mention if he were to sabotage the dna test, it wouldn’t affect just maintenance but everything else in regards to my daughter (ie her relationship with his family, my reputation etc).

if anyone can help me out with this that would be great.

Is he on the BC?

Denying parentage won't stop maintenance.They assume guilty until proven innocent via DNA test. Which he has to fund. As far as I remember the DNA test is arranged by the CMS as they have a trusted laboratory they use. It's done at a doctor's surgery to prevent sabotage. I wish you all the luck in the world xx

CMS make the arrangements It’s done at a designated doctors surgery and you have to show proof of identity- passport with photo etc - and complete forms while in room with doctor as he takes the sample.

Any man who isn’t in a long term committed relationship would be crazy not to get a dna test. You really shouldn’t worry about that aspect. The courts are well aware that parties on both sides would sometimes try to sabotage the results if given the opportunity.

**

not on bc :)

@Ponderingwindow A man who has no intention of committing to his child like my daughter’s “father” is likely to not get a DNA test because he simply doesn’t care, but now that I’ve opened this CMS application, he could go for it because he wants to prolong the process or not pay maitenance, not because he doesn’t believe she’s his. I’ve since found out that they need valid ID, it’s a controlled environment and pictures are taken so I feel better about it if it does come to it. There is no denying he’s hers based on the pure fact she’s his spit, and obviously in my case I know he’s hers as he’s the only person I slept with at that time. His motivation for not seeing his daughter isn’t because he DENIED her as he was initially involved from birth, but because his girlfriend doesn’t like me 🤣

@Yellowcakestand not on BC :)

If the DNA test shows he is the father he can be added and gain parental responsibility.

That was a sensible move

does she also have your surname??

Is he working?

@Whatsgoingonherethenagain
i am aware of this, and whilst it is obviously unpredictable what the future may hold, I have been fully open to contact and encouraged it since the day I found out I was pregnant despite his lack of consistency, it’s been his choice to not be the father he should be, so I am not concerned for him to attempt to gain parental responsibility as its been offered and not taken.

@AutumnLeaves24
Yes, she does have my surname. Last I heard he was unemployed and I’m aware that the flat rate CM on UC is typically £7pw, which is just ridiculous but I don’t make the rules lol. He was looking for employment but unfortunately around my area, it’s more common than not to work cash in hand - so this could be a totally losing battle for me. I can solely financially provide for my daughter but I think any man who refuses to parent their child should be held somewhat accountable, some may interpret as spiteful - but it’s the consequences of his own actions. I also have given him 13 months to financially contribute, which is more than a reasonable amount of time🤨

It's good you were on the ball enough to give her your surname 😊

I fully agree and support you with CMS. I just wondered if it was worth the effort really but if you have the energy and drive to do it as a matter of principle, you go for it!!

Don't agree with the BC a child has every right to know it's parentage in a few years doesn't mean you need contact etc achild when older may decide they want it regardless of what you feel. I'm in that situation right now a teenage wanting to see his dad and step sister who haven't been in our lives since he was 4 weeks old. We went to meet the step sister 2 weeks ago and my son's tinted glasses fell off and he said he doesn't want contact with her atm now he has seen her.

That's something that he can easily solve by applying to be added. She can't force him to be on the certificate - if you're not married, you have to go together.

He had the option to come, he didn’t. I will never lie to my child about who her dad is etc but I also won’t encourage her to reach out to someone who essentially abandoned her. I had a similar experience growing up and I now have so much trauma from deciding to reach out to said parent as a teenager.