How to mask postnatal depression for the next 12 months?

[Ohhlalalaoh]

Really struggling right now in the newborn phase, I know I’ll be fine once they’re 12 months old.

How can I get through the next 12 months and make it out the other side without bringing PND into it?

TIA

Speak to your GP/health visitor, be honest and don’t suffer in silence

Why mask?

Do you have another child? Can you somehow get some help so that you can get a bit of time to yourself/more sleep?

This is a strange thing to ask. If you need help you should access it.

Otherwise, I'd suggest you take it one day at a time. Make sure you take time to do the small things that make you happy, even if it's having a cup of tea and a piece of cake or a relaxing bath.

Try not to stress about the big things. Keep active and get outside each day, even if you have to force yourself.

I made sure i took my baby out for a walk with the pram every day.
Local baby /mother groups are also good. Seeing other people and not getting isolated is very important.

What is so significant about the 12 month mark?

I had to do this - it was extremely difficult. I had to pay for private therapy. My dh had to give up work temporarily to get through it without anyone knowing. It was really really difficult. If you are able to ask for help it’s probably better although I know sometimes circumstances dictate that you can’t, things can get worse though and you have to have a cut off point where you will get help.

If you had a broken leg or a lump in your breast, you would go to the doctor. This is no different. Depression requires a combination of medication and talking therapy. You need medical support and there’s no need to try and hide it.

Why would you mask it?
Just ask your GP or Health visitor for support.
You do know they don't take away baby"s if you have PND don't you?
Nothing bad happens is you admin to feeling rubbish but they can offer various support methods to actually help you.

PND doesn't go away by 12 months. If anything, it could get worse. Many women I know were hit the hardest from 2-4 years. That's when the rose tinted baby phase falls away and the brutal reality of accumulated sleep deprivation starts to catch up. Add in endless nursery bugs, fewer naps and potential negative impact on work and marriage.

I had PND, and went to a talk by a professor who had done research into it. Her theory was that the same receptors in your body which pick up the hormones you need to ward off PND can also be glucose receptors, and if your blood glucose drops, these receptors stop being hormone receptors and start being glucose receptors, and can take 24 hours minimum to switch back.

Her suggestion was to ensure your blood sugar stays at an even level - have some carbs within an hour of waking up, every three hours during the day, and no more than an hour before bedtime - not huge amounts, an oatcake or digestive biscuit, maybe.

If this doesn’t help, it can’t harm - and feeling as if you are doing something to take control might help.

But if it gets bad, please do ask for help, @Ohhlalalaoh.

Sorry, but it doesn’t magically get better when they are 12 months old! You need to access help.

I just faked loving DD until I actually did, took around 12 months I think.
Not sure my MH has ever been the same though.
Of course its better for you to get help but if thats not an option then the best thing to do is just gather it up and shove it in a box and hide it deep down
Not healthy and not the best option so not advisible BUT I don't presume to think I know you better than you know yourself.

@Ohhlalalaoh it would really help if you can explain why you think you have to mask? Many of us who have had PND will have experienced very strange thoughts and illogical behaviour ( including not wanting to ask for help because of being worried our babies will be taken off us if we tell the truth how we are feeling) so please do say a bit more .

For those asking why I’m looking to mask. I don’t want to spoil what should be a magical time for our new family (something we’ve waited a long time for) by bringing it down with PND.

so I’m not worried about baby being taken off me, but more my partner looking back at this time and thinking I was unhappy all the time

Oh no. You are ill. You shouldnt be worrying about spoiling anything. See your GP and get help. You have the rest of your life to enjoy your child.
Your partner should want you to be healthy.

My Dh had no idea and neither did anyone else.
I am not sure its healthy long term but you do what you need to do for now.

Is it your first?

If so I'd suggsst you seek some help even if you dont discuss it with your dh.

With my first i had mild pnd (i still maintain a lot of my feelings were valid/ a normal response to what was happening around me)

With no 2 i knew what to expect and that i didn't really like newborn phase. I felt awful which peaked arpund 3m pp but I could see the bigger picture and knew i had to just get to 12m... so I did.
A lot of women say it's better when thry go back to work as they regain some their identity / sense of self again.

@Ohhlalalaoh have you been given a diagnosis of PND or it is the baby blues? Either way, by acknowledging what is going on for us and seeking help from family, friends, GP etc, we are more likely to recover quickly and be able to bond better with our babies and have a better relationship with our partners. If you are keeping difficult feelings inside yourself it can become difficult to function. Sleep is really crucial to recovery and if we just try and keep going ,sometimes the wheels come off ,or PND can segue into long term depression. When you recover from PND you can see things much more clearly. If you have PND, you do need to realise it can have real consequences if you don’t seek help, I really regret how much time I lost when I could have recovered earlier.

But if you seek help/take anti-depressants, you will all enjoy this time! Why do you think you should mask?

Without help, how do you know things will suddenly get better after 12 months?

@LivingLaVidaBabyShower i don’t understand why 12 months is something seen as a goal or a special milestone??

How can I get through the next 12 months and make it out the other side without bringing PND into it?

By getting help?

Hi OP. It's true what they say, a problem shared is a problem halved. I suffered with postpartum anxiety and probably also a bit of depression. Kept it to myself for about 15 months and it was such a weight to carry, I think it totally compounded what I was feeling. I went back to work and within weeks hit a wall and crumbled. Honestly, once I told my husband he was great and the relief was incredible. I don't think PPD means that you're sad all the time and you can't enjoy your time off. In fact, once you ask for help (GP, health visitor or family), you might actually feel better and be able to relax and enjoy it more. Please don't suffer in silence. I regret keeping it to myself and looking back, it completely overshadowed my maternity leave and I wish I'd sought help sooner, before I couldn't cope any more.

For me.. it was when things got easier for a range of reasons

i went back to work so had a. Alone time on commute b. Got to use my brain

Baby was fully weaned no more annoying purees and no longer breastfeeding

Sleep training meant I had a 7 hr block give or take.

My babies were frustrated pre walking with low attention spans by 12m both were confident enough walkers and could go out places / play nicely for more than 5mins without complaining

Back to the op... I'd def go see the gp. It can't hurt and will likely make it easier for you.

our children were planned and wanted... with my first i remember thinking about how awful i felt and how guilty i felt for not "loving this" and feeling like id been hit by a bus...
I imagine if i had spent years trying those feelings would be even more magnified

Go easy on yourself.
As an fyi I worked it all out in the end. I absolutely love toddler phase both my kids are joys in my life

This makes no sense at all. Being honest will NOT ruin this time. Having PND and not sharing it is more likely to affect your relationship with your husband.

Go to docs, get help, tell DH.

Reported this post. So sick of these horrible companies preying on posters asking for help by flogging their shitty teas. Its so obvious when every different poster uses the same text. Happens all over the bf / colic threads as well.