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Parenting

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Original poster

Does anyone else HATE the newborn stage?

36 replies

Broken7337 · 10/04/2025 12:34

First time mum, after trying for 10 years now have 8 week old DD.

this is not what I expected.

I feel like a prisoner on a constant carousel of feeding (which is a battle in itself) winding (another battle) changing and then sleeping. Rinse and repeat.

the above I expected, but I didn’t think I’d hate it so much that I’d want my old life back

now and again she’ll flash a smile which is beautiful but she’s so miserable in between it’s exhausting and draining. I’m exhausted and it’s making me miserable.

I can’t wait for her to get a bit older so she’s at least more interactive

is this normal? I’m not depressed before anyone asks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Newmumhere40 · 10/04/2025 13:35

RedHelenB · 10/04/2025 13:05

It lasts for such a short time, that baby smell, that first smile, those big eyes looking up as you feed them. Yabu.

Wow helpful...ffs

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 10/04/2025 13:36

Runnersandtoms · 10/04/2025 13:27

It's really hard when you're in it. But it really is true that the days are long but the years are short. This time won't last forever and you'll look back fondly. There will be other challenges later so try to make the most of the fact she's currently easily portable, and spends a fair bit of time asleep.

Go out for a walk with her in a sling, meet friends, eat out (we had an anniversary meal in a restaurant with a 1 month old, she slept in the pram throughout.)

Equally embrace being 'allowed' to sit on the sofa feeding and cuddling all day. I watched all 15 series of ER when my eldest was newborn. She cried if I put her down so I let her sleep in my arms most of the time. If you have a second one it's completely different because you are running around after the older one a day so make the most of the peace if the first(or only) child.

Going for a walk or out to lunch is really hard though if you have an endless crier. Mine never slept in his pram and any attempt to go for coffee let alone a meal out would have been hastily abandoned when everyone started staring at me for having the noisiest baby on the planet.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 10/04/2025 13:37

RedHelenB · 10/04/2025 13:05

It lasts for such a short time, that baby smell, that first smile, those big eyes looking up as you feed them. Yabu.

Just what every struggling new mother needs. Sanctimonious posts like this 🙄.

Interested in this thread?

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0-3 months old Babies & sleep Families

FTM1993 · 10/04/2025 13:40

Doolallies · 10/04/2025 13:29

Tbh op has asked for opinions and this person has given one. It’s attacking or vicious or anything?

Show quote history

No it's not vicious but OP has not asked for comments on whether she is being unreasonable or not.

Mortima · 10/04/2025 13:53

I didn't like the newborn stage either OP, the baby maintenance carousel is exhausting. I think babies can vary massively as well, and mine was never a 'contented' baby - if he wasn't asleep or feeding, he would need to be constantly on the move, being carried/bounced around/in the pushchair or sling. Wouldn't accept cuddles sitting down.
The postnatal stage can be really hard, and I imagine that's intensified if you've been trying for 10 years.
I didn't have one big breakthrough, but lots of smaller turning points as it gradually became easier:

The first smiles and laughs (about 5 weeks and 3 months, respectively)

Getting back into exercise, slowly (after 6 week postnatal check)

Starting to get out to some baby groups, which became a saviour to have some adult contact and structure to my week (2 months)

Getting some longer stretches of sleep (3 months - this did go to shit again at various points, but got better again!);

Starting to build more of a napping/feeding routine (4 months);

Giving up breastfeeding and accepting it wasn't working (around 6 months)

They do gradually get more interactive, and need less frequent nappy changes, and cry less. Mine is 19 months now and it's a whole new set of challenges, but it feels so much better. Hope things get better for you soon

BlondeMummyto1 · 10/04/2025 13:54

I absolutely loved it but I didn’t dream dream and out huge expectations onto what it would be like.

Original poster

Broken7337 · 10/04/2025 14:37

Thank you to those that responded with supportive posts, makes me feel a bit better knowing than I’m not abnormal with how I’m feeling

OP posts:

blackberryhill · 10/04/2025 14:37

Yes, I despised it. I had a miserable baby and I had PND - who knows if it would've happened anyway or how much the miserable baby contributed but either way three years out I still have no nostalgia for that phase. Things gradually started improving from around the 5 month mark but got massively better when he turned 1. I love having a toddler so much, I'd take that over a newborn any day of the week.

blackberryhill · 10/04/2025 14:42

MidnightPatrol · 10/04/2025 13:04

I think it depends what baby you get.

Mine just screamed constantly for four months. The only way they slept was if I was walking with them in a carrier. It was pretty awful.

I knew other people who had babies that slept through from three weeks and could wheel them around silently in a pram, or they’d nap in their cot.

I also found breastfeeding really restrictive in my ability to get my body back / actually go and do anything.

God this has brought back so many memories - I also had one who would only sleep if I was walking at pace with him in a carrier. I got to my lightest ever weight by the time he was 6 months old because I was never allowed to sit down and walked miles a day lugging a baby on my front. I remember doing laps around the park in tears as all of my NCT group sat on the grass having a picnic with their babies napping peacefully in their prams.

menopausalfart · 10/04/2025 14:43

I think redhelenb must have gotten the message by now. I doubt her post was meant to cause upset, so a pile-on is needless. There are many great replies here for the OP to know that she's not alone.

lenalove · 10/04/2025 16:48

I found the newborn stage EXTREMELY tough! My little girl had a tongue tie that was diagnosed too late meaning I had to give up breastfeeding after only 2 weeks of extreme pain. She is also a very sensitive soul who spent much of her first few months crying and refusing to sleep or feed well. She is now nearly one and still very demanding but a LOT of fun!!! She eats fantastically, sleeps much better and is just much easier to care for! So no - you are not alone in finding this stage difficult. I've been saying to my husband I'd like to have a second but ideally they could somehow be born at 9 months old haha

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