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Cant get over it

3 replies

newmama2023 · 09/04/2025 21:04

My daughter had a UTI at 3 weeks old. It was absolutely traumatic, i felt helpless, guilty and like the world was ending. It sent me into depression, anxiety with terrible intrusive thoughts. Its been 2 years now and im still hating the situation ever happened. I blame myself and feel like my whole time with my precious newborn baby was ruined. She was absolutely fine. I caught so early there has been no long term effects.
I just find myself always thinking about it and the shoulda coulda wouldas of it all. That day in A&E was the worst day of my life. She had to have the spinal check thing, and then had to have antibiotics every day for 10 days. Injected. And had a canula, they struggled to find a vein and that was traumatic in itself. I am writing this to maybe help me get it out of my constant thoughts.
I always get jealous when someone has a baby girl, just because they didnt have to go through that. Ridiculous isnt it. I know i am being stupid. I just wish i could go back in time. Did i not clean her properly, i was scared to hurt her or be invasive, or did i leave her in a dirty nappy too long. I hated the idea of using a public changing room with her that little. I dont know. I just hate myself and wish i could go back and do everything again, knowing what i know now.
I guess im posting this for other parents who have had similar situations and can relate.
I appreciate how lucky i am that is happy and healthy, i just feel so stuck in this past and wonder if i will ever get over it.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SassiestPants · 09/04/2025 21:10

It was not your fault. It wasn't anything you did or didn't do, it was just one of those things. It wasn't your fault.

I'm so glad she is doing well. Have you accessed any support to talk through your feelings? Sounds like you're carrying some trauma from the experience. Be kind to yourself, sounds like you're an amazing Mum
💐

newmama2023 · 09/04/2025 22:13

SassiestPants · 09/04/2025 21:10

It was not your fault. It wasn't anything you did or didn't do, it was just one of those things. It wasn't your fault.

I'm so glad she is doing well. Have you accessed any support to talk through your feelings? Sounds like you're carrying some trauma from the experience. Be kind to yourself, sounds like you're an amazing Mum
💐

Thank you very much for your kind words, i really really apprecaite it Xx

OP posts:
JayJayj · 10/04/2025 15:41

Have you had any counselling? It sounds like you are suffering with postpartum anxiety/depression.

My daughter is 2 1/2 and I’m still struggling with it.

I hope you can learn to realise it was nothing you did.

Being a mum is harder mentally than I thought it would be, and I thought it would be hard!

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