How to forgive myself for being stressed

[August24Mama]

Hi everyone. I went on a little shopping trip with my baby who's 7mo after I was in the doctors today. Baby was visibly tired at the doctors and I was sure she would fall asleep when walking around shopping, which is the only reason I went. Que me walking around for roughly an hour and 1/2 with baby just not happy at all. She wasn't crying but she was very unhappy and whiny. I had to do a food shop so I did it as quick as I could, hoping she'd fall asleep. After shopping I nipped to a cafe to try feed her in case she was hungry and she wasn't interested at all. Tried offering a ricecake instead and she nibbled on it, but most of it ended up on the floor.

Long story short, after the whole journey home, 5 minutes away from my house she finally fell asleep. I was so incredibly stressed during this whole time, kicking myself for even going shopping. None of my feelings are directed at my precious baby at all, I just feel like a horrible parent not being able to help her. Usually a stroll around in the pram knocks her right out but today it just didn't. I just feel like a failure of a parent for not being able to help her, and for lugging her around the shop when she was so clearly tired and unhappy. How do I give myself a little grace with this? I feel awful and just needed to vent, I'm sorry.

I think you need to cut yourself some slack. There’s no way of predicting your baby’s mood and making them feel better is really difficult and often more down to luck than judgement. There’s a good chance that it would have been no different even if you stayed home, at least this way you got something done!

I really can’t see what you did wrong here. Sounds like you proactively did everything you could think of to help her. You took her for a stroll to help her sleep, something which usually works, and when it didn’t work you stopped to try and feed to see if that helped. And eventually she nodded off on the way home. Sometimes they just throw us a curveball and the things that usually work, don’t. But that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. I don’t think you could have done anything differently. Don’t tell yourself you’re a failure and awful; start telling yourself you’re doing a great job and you’re a dedicated loving mum.