'Walking' toddler back into bed?

[Tafal]

So I see this a lot online, when trying to get child to stay in bed the advice is to calmly take them back to bed each time they get up and eventually they will stay. But I'm really struggling with this with my DD as she won't be 'calmly led' back. I would have to pick her up and drag her back to the bed while she fails and tantrums, as her go-to move is to jump put of bed, run to her bedroom door and crouch in a little ball refusing to move or do anything.

Have tried just leaving her to it to see if she will get back in bed herself but after a few minutes of her sitting there behind her door she will start to hammer at the door and scream, which then disturbs other DD so I end up going to her every time she jumps out of bed. At the moment it's taking 2/3 hours each night before she finally happily stays in bed. She just finds anything and everything to ask for to delay bed time for as long as possible.

She has just turned 3 and we were very lucky for a long time in that from 3 months old she went to bed ridiculously easily and slept right through, so now things aren't like that we are struggling to know how to navigate it. She has been like this for a few months now.

It should say "flails", not "fails", it won't let me edit it now.

Pick her up . In silence. Walk away immediately. Don’t catch her eye or engage at all. It’s very very hard, but remind yourself that she is safe, her screams are just frustration etc.

Watching as I will be taking the bars off my 3.5 year old cot bed soon and fear she will be similar!

What time is she going to bed and is she still napping? If she is taking that long to be ready to try sleep it sounds like she isn’t ready when you first try?

This is good advice. Try to be as boring as possible, no eye contact, just use shushing or repeating its nighttime, back to bed. Give no reward for being awake via your communication.
It’s really hard a this age because they’re mobile and verbal but the key is consistency. You’ll get there.

How does she like her new big bed?

Bed now or we will be putting yourcot back!!

We start bedtime routine at 7, all together in DDs room then one of us takes younger DD to her bed while the other finishes storytime with 3yo. It's usually about 7.20/7.30 when we are saying goodnight. She doesn't nap anymore really, but will sometimes fall asleep in the car on the afternoon coming home from somewhere etc. Maybe a later bedtime is something to try.

Thank you, will try this.

Our 2-3 year old was HELL at bedtime, exactly what you describe above. Screaming, getting up, pleading to come out, "needing the toiled" multiple times, or needing a drink multiple times. Excuses galore. She mostly grew out of it, but it wasn't a short process. I agree with the comment above everyone keeps reposting, it is definitely right. I will say that our DD is now 5, she doesn't love going to bed, but does go, she plays in her bed with some little toys or books until she falls asleep, and doesn't usually come out though. We also had some talking books then so she could play herself stories. If she is not going to go to sleep immediately, then having something quiet and relaxing to do is helpful. The other big fix was removing her nap. Nursery napped her, school doesnt, and the change has been incredible.

Thank you everyone

I used Andrea Grace’s Gentle Sleep Solutions for Toddlers. It had lots of what to do in each scenario.

When my dd was doing similar, I cut her daytime nap. Then I put her to bed (after bedtime routine) at the time she was actually falling asleep after all the screaming. Because she was really tired there was less resistance but I did have to pick her up. I did the same the next night but less picking up and she stayed in bed a bit more. Once she got used to staying in bed, I gradually moved bedtime earlier but stopped when she started resisting staying in bed. Now she falls asleep about 8.