Worried we ‘do’ to little with the children

[Ohmygoodnessitsmonk]

It’s the Easter hols and I am developing parent guilt!
we have a busy term time with afterschool clubs, brownies/beavers, swimming and sports clubs. I am therefore always inclined to have a more chilled break - the kids need it I think.
We’ve spent the weekend in the garden/dog walks, we are going to visit rele’s next week which will very much be beach days and garden play. Week after we have a couple of play dates and I may try cinema.
I see hear so many friends discussing daily organised activities, swimming, zoo, trampolining etc. etc, when they ask what we are doing I say we are just hanging at home. They are amazed they aren’t bored and disruptive (they aren’t really at all beyond the occasional small child whinge…)

Funds are a little tight at the moment so that is contributing to our non-big event trips but it is 90% we need a proper break.

So are we being a bit rubbish? Should we be doing more with them or is it ok? All 6 or under….

Sounds completely fine to me. Enjoy your break!

Sounds perfect! Term time for us is busy so we love to potter in the holidays, park trips/library/see friends for a picnic.

It's also fine to find things to do at home - baking a cake (including planning and shopping for the ingredients), a craft project, gardening.

We are one of the busy families during holidays as well as term-time, but that suits me and my children so it's not something I'd judge other families on. I genuinely enjoy visiting different places and I'd be out and about doing stuff even without kids. No point feeling guilty about it if it works for your family though.

Please please please don't play into this new age social media pressure of having to be competitively doing 101 activities every day.

Nothing wrong with chill days/cosy film food and PJ days/ interlaced with a park trip or two !

No need for all this constant "doing". some "doing" yes. But life is a balance. It's not balanced to be "go go go" all holidays.

Release the pressure valve and just be you. i actually bond better with my children when we're cosying up together or having a kick around in the garden.

I think it’s great for children to have down-time during the holidays; I find they usually get into some lovely games given the chance (and after a little bit of boredom!)

My kids are exhausted and actually enjoy a slower pace of life for the first part of the holidays. Time to crafts, bake, watch films, read books, play games etc. Be led by them. Are they happy?

Free / cheap ideas depending on ages:
Bike ride
Car washing for pocket money
National Trust
If you are near a beach have a day out, packed lunch and take some money for the 2p slots and an ice cream.
Visit the library
Go to the woods for a scavenger hunt
Free museum / gallery
Set up a home movie theatre, make Popcorn, spread cushions all over the floor.

Den building in the woods or garden.
Get the kids to plan and cook a themed 3 course meal depending on age with your help.

Wow OP it sounds like you’re doing lots already! Absolutely nothing wrong, I hate this new age where you have to plan things for the kids every weekend. When I was little I had no clubs or after school things to do and at the weekends we went to park, walks etc because we had no money! And I can tell you now that my parents gave me the best childhood I could have hoped for and I look back on it with great fondness. And do you know what days I don’t remember?! The very rare odd day out to the zoo!

When I worked school holidays and ds was with older dd their simple trips to the local park with a picnic lunch were his best days he told me.
Picnic in the garden on nice days op?
Make a den and eat in there?
Invest in a small trampoline?.
Grow some peas/ cress /tomatoes/strawberries?
Never too young to start growing nice things to eat!!

It sounds like you're the one starting to be influenced by your peers. Your children are learning to be calm, collected, satisfied, and mindful. Continue down this path and they shall soon learn what it means to be present in the moment, not thirsting after another thrill. They shall become wise at a young age and be more in touch with their emotions than any of those other children. They will be strong in the mind and spirit. Wishing you the best!

I have a 5yo and a 3yo. We spent the weekend playing in the garden, doing some gardening, a bike ride and a walk in a local nature reserve. We all loved it. Over the next week we have one soft play trip planned, meeting friends in a local park and having a friend round for a play date. Next week we will visit family for 3 days which will be more walks/bike rides/playing outside but just in a different setting.
Our local library has some Easter themed activities most days over the holidays so will probably drop in there a couple of times and we are just a short drive to the coast so imagine we will visit the beach too
I genuinely think at this age my 2 don't need lots of big expensive activities to keep them happy, especially when the weather is so nice.

I think it’s fine. Good even. Life now is too busy. Children are never bored.. have a read of the book ‘the anxious generation’; talks about over stimulation and not building resilience with defend/discover cycle in the real world for our kids. They have enough manic modern life to come!!! Enjoy the hols

Thanks all!
We are super fortunate in that we have a larger garden and we have a veg patch (which they have their own plants in) and so that helps. We also love a National Trust visit and are members so that helps.

I was questioning myself and it seems like I need not too! I suppose the lack of money leaves an underlying guilt….

Outside in the garden safe and having fun. No need to always be doing structured activities.

We have 4 children all aged 5 and under and we have no set plans for the Easter holidays except for some loose ideas of a few things we might do. They don't go to any activities or clubs or anything during term time either. Literally just school and nursery for 3 of them! Although the one at nursery will still be going 3 days a week during the holidays.

I think it's common to do way too much. I see my mum friends grab their kids at the school gate to go to football, tennis, cubs whatever. The kids never get a chance to chill!

It's definitely good to have some quiet breaks imo.

I agree fully.

I honestly believe some of the parents and the kids don't even want to be doing half this shit! I think it's buying into the pressure.

We didn't do any structured clubs when the kids were too small to choose their own interests. They soon have their interest piqued when they're old enough.

A friend of mine (who I adore but happens to be quite easily influenced) really pushed the "football mom" (added the American spelling for added cliché 😁) thing on herself and her very obviously autistic , highly sensitive little lad. (She's not even that type either ! I think she hung around with a couple of school gate mums, heard what they were doing and decided she best be doing it !) Anyway, predictably it all came undone.

My DS eventually out of nowhere decided he absolutely loved football (quiet, shy boy ) so never thought it'd be particularly his thing. Avid supporter of the local team and eventually we looked into (and got him) a place in a club ! It happened because he "fell" into it. Not because we pushed him into it "coz the cool mums do it". And that's enough ! DD gets a new interest every so often , joins a club for a bit then doesn't like it anymore! But she's happy and that's fine! Can't be dealing with pushing them into a club everyday/playing instruments blah blah because I feel I "should". We have plenty of lazy days- and we all benefit from it.

My friend on the other hand feels like she's got to be out and doing something active 24/7 - I hate to say it but the children's behaviour and attitudes aren't great to be honest 😐. They can't tolerate boredom or being 'left to it '. I don't see her as much as I'd like to because of the poor behaviours. But in summary, I really don't think this modern "activity overload" benefits parent or child.

Also another observation: I find parents that are "out out out" 24/7 especially where they're with other friends/relatives/adults seem to be ones that almost fear being alone with their kids, like they don't know how to or don't want to entertain them. But that's where the real bonding happens. Silly time /feet tickling/ stories under a make do den with a torch. Cheap and easy fun !

Not that I'm perfect. I'm really not!!!

Sounds perfect to me

It's our first school Easter holiday and our plans so far are two park trips with friends and a week with the grandparents which will probably involve a day out but otherwise just pottering and maybe trips to the park or beach depending on weather.
Today's excitement is going to the post office and the supermarket!

I think it’s fine!

DS splits his time between me and his dad in the holidays. At the weekend DS and I went to the 4D cinema as the “big holiday treat”, and then spent the weekend in the garden - but I’m working this week, so he’ll spend most of this week at his dad’s playing with old train sets, mucking about on the river and in his dad’s workshop. If they go out it will be to the park/woods/local market.

On Friday I’ve booked leave so DS and I will go for a day-long walk, and at the weekend he’s got a cousins birthday party which is bowling I think, and we might pop to the local Easter fair.

Next week I’m working again so he’ll be back to his dads for more low-key hanging out except for one day he’s got a tennis camp (just games, rather than drills etc as he’s not a regular player), and then Easter weekend, we’ll go walking, have a BBQ if the weather’s nice and just enjoy the down time.

tbh I think he’s got a lovely way to spend a fortnight, and I’m jealous! Feel absolutely no guilt about not putting him in endless clubs etc. if we lived in London still, and didn’t have as much access to green space etc. I might feel like his time was better spent differently, but I think all things considered, he’s far from hard done by!

Who cares what anyone else is doing. Kids need down time (a lot of parents are terrified of children with time on their hands) Relax and enjoy

I asked my kids what they wanted to do today - chill at home! We’ve been playing in the garden most the morning, and they’ve done some Lego. Might walk down to the playground later. Rest of the week we have cinema tomorrow but otherwise will just potter about, playground, play on the beach etc. Got some play dates planned for next week and one day out, but otherwise another chilled one!