Fuming about School

[MilkyBarr]

Yesterday DD's entire school where making hats to celebrate the schools birthday or something. EVERYONE in the school was making one.

Anyway the children designed their own hats and the flat cardboard was then taken to the teacher to be stapled into a hat shape.

DD (8) was the next in line when the teacher apparantly stapled one hat on the wrong side and said "oh look what I've done!" before doing it right. The children all giggled (it was apparantly a light hearted moment) and DD said "you're silly arn't you" in a jokey way.

The teacher then stopped what she was doing and said "what did you just say?" so one of the other kids repeated it and the teacher said "Right, I don't think I want to do your hat anymore, go and sit over there".

So DD left the queue and went to sit by herself whilst the other children got their hats done.

There was then an assembly to show off the hats and DD was left crying through it as she was the only child in the entire school not to have one.

I know I'm probably biased but I think she was treated appallingly. I don't even think that what she said was cheeky.

Should I make a complaint?

I think you should speak to the teacher and tell her how appalled you are at her over reaction to a comment (which imho was not rude at all)

She could have made an example of her but then stapled the hat! Silly woman. Your DD was right.....she is silly.

I would be cross too as she made a small incident into something huge!

Poor DD.

Very unfair - your poor DD. I would have a chat with the teacher if that was my DD

I think it is an over-reaction, but I also think she has learnt a useful lesson about the fine line between being funny and being rude.

You weren't there, so you don't know what tone your dd used, so hard to judge how rudely it came across.

I don't think a formal complaint is indicated, but I think you could have a word with the teacher explaining that dd was really upset by the incident and hadn't intended to be cheeky.

(I mean I htink the teacher over-reacted, not that you did).

not stapling the hat AT ALL was unreasonable.
If she was trying to make a point, all the teacher needed to do was do that hat last and saying something like "try not to call teacher silly".
I would complain that the punishment was way too harsh here

It's not what people say that matters, it's the manner in which they say it.

She WAS rude to call a teacher silly. BUT--not stapling the hat seems an OTT response to me.

I think I'd mark it down as one of those tough lessons in life. Perhaps that sounds harsh and it's not meant to be--my son has been handed demerits on two occasions for over-stepping the mark in these jokey situations and I've felt for him but they have to learn how to judge what's appropriate to say where and to whom. It's an important laugh skill.

I'd get the teacher's side of the story before you make a complaint. Not saying your DD didn't relay the whole truth,but you need to be sure that it all happened precisely as she reported. A Mum at our school stormed in to the head to complain about her DS being sent out of the classroom for "yawning" to find he had actually stuck his tongue out at the teacher, which he admitted to when pushed. If it did happen as you DD describes, teacher was unreasonable and punishment didn't match the "crime" IMO.

Think you should just let it lie. Your child was a bit rude, even in jest and that is the answer you will get from teh teacher.

Teacher was out of order. She seems a bit of a fragile flower if she can't cope with that!

Hardly, Uriel. There's no indication here that she "couldn't cope", just that she felt the remark was made in an insolent way, not a lighthearted way, and reacted accordingly (tho' I do think she was ott!) If Milkybarr knows her son was misinterpreted, she needs to contact the teacher.

By couldn't cope, I meant the teacher should have other disciplinary strategies she could use, rather than whole school humiliation.

Dd (also 8) has a teacher who a) would find the situation funny and b) would joke against himself anyway.

It's a good job the teacher doesn't work in a secondary school!

My ds (7) has ended up being unintentionally cheeky a couple of times (I owe this information to dd who sometimes has been sent in to work in his class when her teacher is off). Fortunately, his teacher is very confident and limits herself to gently pointing out that that didn't sound very nice. And ds has been devastated when he's realised that he'd been rude.

In defence of the teacher, your child was rude. In defence of your child, the teacher's over-reacted and her actions were outrageous. Very OTT. No wonder some children behave the way they do!

A simple: "I'm your teacher. You do not speak to me in such a manner. It's very rude. Please apologise" should have suffice.

Following an apology, the teacher should 'forgive and forget' and move on.

Get the other side of the story somehow. Always get the other side of a story told by a child, then decide. It does sound a bit off, but there might be more to it than you have been told (or than your DD appeciates)