Speech delay & frustration - any tips?

[FrustratedMum2025]

Hi all,

I’m just after a bit of advice/reassurance, really. My little one (DS,3) has a speech delay, and while I know it’s not uncommon, it’s getting to the point where the frustration is just… a lot. He has a few words, but it’s mostly just pointing and grunting when he’s trying to communicate, and it’s like every little thing causes a meltdown if he can’t get his point across.

This morning he was having a breakdown over toast. He loves toast, but today he just wouldn’t eat it. I swapped it for a banana (he’ll eat anything if it’s a banana), but that was a battle in itself. He gets so upset, and I can just tell he’s trying to say something but can’t quite get there. It’s heartbreaking and I’m feeling pretty helpless.

I’ve tried all the usual things - repeating words, encouraging him to try sounds, and I’ve even started using some simple sign language (which he does seem to like) - but I’m wondering if anyone here has been through something similar and if you have any tips for easing the frustration? I just feel like I’m failing him at the moment, and it’s hard to know how best to support him.

I guess I’m looking for some reassurance, some ideas, anything that might help. I’m trying to be patient but it’s really starting to wear on me, and on him too. I don’t want him to feel like I’m not understanding him.

Thanks so much in advance xx

(And yes, I know I should probably call the speech therapist again, but they haven’t been that helpful in the past 🙄)

I’d definitely see if you can both learn some Makaton, it’s so helpful if they can get a basic repertoire of signs to cover off basic needs. You could also have some little cards with pictures on to give choices - I’m sorry I can’t remember what they’re called but my nephew (non verbal until 6) had a big key ring with different pictures on which he learned to choose from. It’s very hard to keep your patience sometimes but it sounds like you’re doing a great job, hang in there!!

It sounds like he'd benefit from an alternative communication method such as pecs, makaton, podd or high tech aac. Currently he's communicating his frustration in the only way he can. Alternative communication methods can be great for helping with that frustration. They also help support speech development.

I know how difficult it is, my 15 year old has a severe speech delay. It sounds like you're doing a great job. I can highly recommend private salt if that's something that's achievable. There's a huge difference between nhs and private salt.

Would 1000% recommend using AAC. This can either be Makaton (simple signing) or using a communication board. These can be simple or high tech but if he takes to it high tech is a lot more growable and portable. Wouldn’t recommend PECS as the way it’s supposed to be implemented is a faff and it can be v limiting. Also don’t worry about AAC impacting speech development as it won’t it’ll help. Also ask you’re speech therapist what his phonological awareness is like as that can be worked on at home easily.

Thanks so much for the replies, really appreciate it. We’ve been trying a few basic Makaton signs but I think I need to be more consistent with it- he does seem to understand but doesn’t use them himself yet. I’ll look into those picture cards too, that sounds like something that might help him when he’s struggling to get the words out. It’s just so hard seeing him get so frustrated when he can’t explain what he wants. We’ve got an NHS SALT referral but the wait is ridiculous - is private really that much better?

That’s really interesting, I always thought AAC was more for non-verbal kids but it makes sense if it helps with frustration too. I’ll look into high tech options, not sure where to even start with that though! Do you know if there’s anything beginner-friendly? Also, good point about phonological awareness - I’ve no idea if that’s even been looked at, so I’ll ask at our next SALT appointment (whenever that ends up being… 🙄).

Came here to say Makaton as well. Have a look and see if there's a Makaton group you can take him to. Where i live it's called Singing Hands... my dd only ever learned a few signs but she could communicate the important stuff which saved us a lot of frustration. It does help if you do a little every day, there's lots of songs which you can do together, hopefully you won't need it for long.

We were referred to SALT when she still wasn't speaking at 2, her speech developed with a pronounced lisp around 2.5 and we had SALT support until she was 3ish but that just consisted of worksheets for me to do with her... her lisp has gone and she never shuts up now (she's 13 and just spent 2 hours on the phone to her friend)

Every now and again she still signs please or thank you without realising what she's doing ❤️

To start you can print off (ideally laminate) a core board of words with matching symbols/pictures that he uses a lot or are important to him. Key word to have is help so he can ask for help and then anything else that you think would help him. I’ll add a picture but start simple (the one so could find re probably a bit much to start with). Higher tech the most accessible option is to use a cheap iPad and there are various AAC apps (which can be quite expensive though). Ideally an AAC should be different device to one he may already have though that may well not be possible.

The key with whatever you choose is to MODEL MODEL MODEL. If you don’t show him how to do it he’s not going to pick it up and start doing it because he won’t know what it’s for to start with (same reason he may understand sign but not be initiating). I promise you have nothing to lose by giving an alternate form of communication while waiting for SALT input (which is horribly horribly slow).

Love the idea of a core board, that sounds really useful - will definitely give that a go. Laminating might be a faff but probably worth it if he actually uses it! iPad could be an option too but would need to see what’s out there (and what’s affordable 🙃). And yes to SALT being painfully slow, feels like we’re just waiting all the time. Will try to do more modelling, think I need to get everyone else on board with that too! Thank for the suggestions, really appreciate it ❤️.