Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting with a narcissistic

3 replies

curlqueenxx · 04/04/2025 10:46

I am in real need of some advice & don’t know where to turn,
so bit of background information I have separated from my child’s dad over a year ago now due to numerous reasons, main reasons are that he is extremely controlling, nasty, manipulative, cheating man with an enabling mother. We were in agreement that he would have our child every other weekend which works here and there… aslong as he is happy that I am at home with no plans to see friends or go out. I am guilty of keeping him sweet for an easy life, but I have grew extremely tired of this and every weekend I am full of anxiety at the thought of my child being there. He goes against everything I say, teaches her bad behavior, feeds her rubbish etc, it has recently come to its head when he found out I had gone to meet a friend on a Saturday night, he took our child out in the car and was threatening all sorts if I didn’t get home. I just can’t keep going through it and putting my child at risk.
he will say the same thing every time how it won’t happen again he “doesn’t care” what I do anymore he just wants to focus on our child, he was just angry etc. but for me the trust is gone and I don’t feel like she is safe there anymore.
he has gone on and on at me to let him have her this weekend and I have put my foot down and said no but I can’t help but feel like am I in the wrong??? Is it me?? Am I overreacting?? My child wants to go there! she thinks they’re great! But she is 3 and does not understand..
i have already tried mediation, which he refused.
I do not want to get social services involved because they do not help or listen, they would visit my home every week and cause me great stress- just to say there is no concerns, when the concerns lie on her fathers side, but not once did they visit or assess him or his behaviour.
I am just at breaking point and literally do not know where to turn 😢

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/04/2025 11:26

Next he threatens anything you call the police. I suggest now you make an appointment with your local police DV (or equivalent) team. You need to discuss with them he subjected you to coercive control and it is carrying on and he is threatening your child. Get it all logged with them.

If you don’t have a CAO I suggest you force his hand to get one. You could legitimately state that after his threats and behaviour on date of that you no longer agree to contact unless he uses a contact centre.

I suggest that you use a paid babysitter to go out as and when you want.

It’s going to take time and you will have to stand up to him. Even with a CAO you can’t force him to have your DC but you can refuse to be flexible and grey rock with “I’m sticking to the CAO due to your past behaviour”

only use one of the court approved apps for communication. Block him from everything else.

RandomMess · 04/04/2025 11:28

You can’t Co-parent, so parallel parent.

curlqueenxx · 04/04/2025 13:02

Thanks for the advice, when it’s put like that it seems so straight forward but I guess I am just drained from the abuse and manipulation, I just want to do what’s best for my child in the long run

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page