Feeling completely invisible and rejected.

[Slw88]

I had COVID badly in my last Trimester from month 6 to 8. Then l had a series of life threatening infections as l was severely immunocompromised. I've been ill or hospitalised 16 out of the last 18 months, l am still chronically immunocompromised. Although l breastfed my baby until he was 8.5 months and have spent as much time with him as l was physically able to. My husband has looked after him more than l have. I also cashed-in life-savings to pay for in-home help, as l wasn't coping physically with being so ill and exhausted and the demands of a baby. All this has left me feeling spectacularly inadequate and rejected as my baby prefers and is clearly more bonded to my husband and also seemingly the Nanny. I do intellectually understand this but emotionally l feel really crippled by it.
Any practical tips or advice would be most welcome please.

Is there any way you can look at this practically? If you had not have made the decisions , who would have looked after your child? All decisions were made for your child's benefit. The money used for the nanny was to help meet your child's needs. This was very selfless, because you would have rather have done these things, but were not able to. Your child has had their emotional needs and physical needs met. You would be a poor parent if you had others to help you do this and refused. Please cut yourself some slack. Enjoy doing what you can. Think a few cuddles will restore some peace for a while.

Any recommendations for excellent nurseries for a 2 year old in East Molesey area SW LONDON PLEASE.
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