Dealing with unmotivated teens

[shelle07]

After constant battles over homework and revision last year, in the end my son did his GCSEs and didn’t get the grades he was expecting. I had hoped this would be a learn for him, but we are back to square one again over his A’level mocks. I’m trying to take a step back this time, and he is still doing nothing. If I even mention it, he bites my head off. School have tried to spark career interests, and we have tried to support him in arranging his work experience, but he is just not bothered. He doesn’t know what he wants to do, doesn’t really care, and isn’t interested in a career path, looking at universities, or apprenticeships. Not even any interest in getting his provisional learners licence and driving lessons. He just expects everything to just happen for him by some miracle, without having to put any work in to make things happen

I’m inclined to just leave him to it and find out the hard way, but nobody wants to see their child fall. Any suggestions or tips from those who have been through this?

Some of my friends were flat-out bribed by their parents. Others were managed continuously (revision plans, curfews, forced to work at the kitchen table and fed snacks...). It sounds really tough if your DS doesn't know what he wants to do, as that tends to provide the motivation by itself.

There are lots of career routes that he can get to without A levels BUT it's generally easier to get A levels and get them first time if possible (otherwise you have cram for them while all your friends are off working/studying).

I did wonder from your description if there's any possibility he's depressed or anxious?

He’s generally a happy kid, always singing etc… so I’m not inclined to think he is suffering with anxiety or depression. He just seems to want to live in the moment and worry about the future another day.