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Parenting

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No happy Mother’s Day from ex

9 replies

Erlouise · 30/03/2025 19:41

Hi ladies

not familiar with the whole co parenting lark, have been split from DDs father for around one year.

he’s been pretty absent. Doesn’t care about anything that goes on day to day, sickness, nursery etc. sees her every other weekend. Always turns up but never wants more time when I offer it.

has a new girlfriend, wants nothing to do with me, we communicate via an app and he has changed to CMS for payments as he doesn’t want to talk to me.

happy with the above have come to accept how much he hates me - baring it mind it was him who was cheating when my DD was only 4 months old, not the other way around. I was very understanding throughout entire split, sold the house as he asked, went part time and dropped down in my career to be there for DD as he refused to help during the week etc.

have always worked around him and his work.

i expected a ‘happy Mother’s Day for tomorrow’ when he dropped DD of yesterday. Or perhaps even a card. He done this for my birthday and Christmas (plus presents) when we first split. But Mother’s Day he hasn’t even acknowledged.

I feel hurt. I don’t need the thanks because I do it all for DD because I love her whole heartedly. But just common decency and respect I thought he might say it.

do I just need to get over it? I don’t understand how people just accept that the man they loved and loved with for years on end and planned children with, is just an outright a**hole.

OP posts:
Mumblechum0 · 30/03/2025 19:45

I wouldn’t expect a Mother’s Day card from anyone I didn’t give birth to to be honest.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 30/03/2025 19:47

Think yourself lucky he did Christmas and Birthday from your daughter. Expect that will end one day too.

PuzzlingRecluse · 30/03/2025 19:50

Ive only ever had Mother’s Day / Christmas cards from ds vis school or nursery, never had a birthday card. He’s 8, my ex has never bothered or encouraged him.

i think you need to reset your expectations, sorry that sounds harsh.

i do nice things for myself, Mother’s Day I’m not fussed about. Birthdays & Christmas I get & wrap my own gifts through the year. This has the unexpected benefit of DS believing I’m on the nice list at Christmas 😇

I’m sorry it sucks, it will get better over time x

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SoOxon · 30/03/2025 20:01

@Erlouise your expectations are unrealistic, his affections lie elsewhere now

of course it is hard, of course it is - but if you don’t have expectations then you won’t be (too) disappointed

time is a great healer OP,

what many ladies cannot fathom but is one of life’s truisms -

he is a bloke- they don’t think like us, he just wanted to drop off and go

you will be fine, as @PuzzlingRecluse said, it will get better over time

BumbleBeegu · 30/03/2025 20:06

Kindly…why would you expect a Happy Mother’s Day message off a tardy ex? This makes no sense OP. No amount of justification on your part would ever make this make sense 🤷‍♀️

Possibly now time to reevaluate your expectations.

PatsFruitCake · 30/03/2025 20:08

You're not his mother. I don't see why he'd do that.

Grazyna80 · 30/03/2025 20:11

Well, he’s an asshole , no? You already know that.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 30/03/2025 21:37

Don't do it or expect it from each other I'm so much happier now we don't do it

Daisyhon · 19/06/2025 22:00

By the sound of it he’s not a thoughtful or nice guy at all . Don’t feel hurt by him , U are well rid of him .

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