Leaving 16 yr old home alone

[familyissues12345]

Hello, at what age would you consider leaving a sensible child (no chance of a party) home alone over night?

Parents will be 30 mins away, older sibling 25 mins away. No other family nearby.

Does 16 sound reasonable? Or too early? When did you leave your children alone overnight for the first time?

Before anyone points out, he has an older sibling so what did we do with him - he was this age through Covid, so was 17.5 before we really had a time we needed to leave him/was able to travel

thanks!

Do you mean you will be 30mins away, or your parents?

Anyway... you know your son.

At 16 he could be living independently.
Not too long ago he could have been married and working.
I think he should be able to survive for one night…

Mine was happy home alone for a weekend from 15. His best mate was very local and I knew his parents would keep a vague eye on him

I think if your 16yo can't be alone for 1 night you've failed at parenting!

There are various reasons why this statement is unreasonable.

Honestly, I still get a bit creeped out being at home alone at night, I much prefer it when someone's there. Safety-wise, she'll be fine, but maybe for the sake of loneliness she could invite one or two friends round for a sleepover? If they're nice, sensible friends she could have a great night - maybe get a takeaway pizza and watch some movies/have a spa evening together with facepacks.

Totally depends on the child. DS is 17 and I know he wouldn’t like it!

I wouldn't leave my 16 year old alone overnight. We live a couple of miles from a small village. Our only close neighbours are very elderly and don't drive.
I wouldn't like to be here alone without a car over night so I wouldn't expect her to do it either.
All living situations are not the same.

Blimey, I was working full time and living in a house share at 16!

Just left 16 Yr ds for 3 days, absolutely fine and house was tidy on my return, if your ds is happy then do it and if not, I would explore further

I’d leave my 16 yr overnight.

I haven’t done it yet but know he’d be totally fine if I did.

Started leaving DS at 14 which was his choice, as he didn't want to stay over at his dad's and preferred to stay home. His dad was a couple of miles away. Last summer he was nearly 16 and chose to stay home instead of coming camping with us. I was a bit wary but he was fine.

I’ve decided not to leave my 15 year old for 5 nights in June, his grandparents will be staying with him, but for 1 night I would have done it.

i left my 16 year old daughter on her own for a night without a thought. She was fine. In fact, she says she quite likes being on her own ( although she did invite a few friends over).

Legally, they can get married at 16, join the army etc.

if you trust your son, then no problem!

I'm so fed up of the comments on threads like this saying you can live alone and have your own place at 16. It's not the 1960s. No 16 year olds are living independently nowadays unless there are difficult/chaotic circumstances...can a 16 year old even rent a place on their own?

Anyway...I wouldn't leave my 16 year old alone all night...he's fairly trustworthy but he's absent minded and I would feel cautious about him remembering to lock up and turn off electrical items etc.

Having said that, some 16 year olds would be fine...as a pp said, you know your ds.

I do think that infantilising kids to the degree that they need babysitting practically into dulthood isn’t doing them any favours.

resilience comes from encountering problems and finding ways to deal with them.

How is he going to learn if you don't give him the chance?

16 sounds fine as long as they’re happy about it. My DD is almost 14 and I don’t think she’s ready to be alone all night yet, not because I think she’d do something silly but because I think she’d get freaked out when it got late and be scared!
Maybe for the first time your DS could invite a friend for a sleepover so he has some company?

I mean you could apply this logic to absolutely anything to do with raising children....

I was living on my own at 16.

Unless there is a back story I also think if you can’t leave a 16yr old you need to ask yourself why your parenting has failed.

It’s logical for a good reason. It works.

Legally, they can get married at 16

Not since 2023 they can’t. Not in England anyway.

I wouldn't let a five year old catch a bus alone....how will they ever learn?

I wouldn't leave a five year old home alone for five minutes... How will they ever learn?

If he is okay with it and knows what to do in an emergency and how he would cope in an emergency ie power cut, evacuated for whatever reason (sinkhole in that road recently) is sensible enough to lock up, set the alarm and phone you if there is a problem then he should be fine.

Equipped and capable are the rules we have. I would do it at 16, mine are older now but I would have trusted both of mine at that age. Just because a child reaches a certain age does not mean they are okay with being alone in a house or with the responsibility.