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Parenting

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Original poster

So cross, teacher upset my DD

21 replies

SandShoes · 14/05/2008 16:41

Yesterday I bought my DD (6) some 'fancy' bobbles. They were just normal elastic things but with little clowns dangling from them.

She was estatic and fiddled with them all night. She couldn't put them down and was so looking foward to wearing them for school today.

There is hardly a uniform at the school and nothing saying that things like this cannot be worn and they were not big enough to get in the way of anything and it wasn't PE today so I assumed it would be fine.

So she wore them, we got to school and one teacher said they were lovely so I assumed it was ok.

Anyway when I went to pick her up a teaching assistant (one who I am on friendly terms with anyway) brought her out and told me she had been very upset all day. I asked why and she lowered her voice and said "between you and me, that mrs is not suited for primary school kids, more like borstal kids". I asked what had happened and apparantly a boy had tried to pull her bobbles out and in the process...broke them.

DD broke down in tears and desperately tried to fix them herself, when the teacher saw her however she shouted at her to stop messing around (she was still crying) and said "what on earth are you messing about at?". DD said "my bobbles are broke" and so the teacher said "oh don't be so ridiculous, put them in the bin and concentrate on what we're doing".

So DD was forced to put her beloved bobbles in the bin, through sobbing and return to her table.

Am I right in thinking the teacher was way out of line here or am I being over-protective?

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AbbeyA · 14/05/2008 16:52

I think that a bit of sensitivity was called for.

kerryk · 14/05/2008 16:54

aww poor dd, think the teacher could have handled it a lot better. i would speak to her and let her know how upset dd was. did the boy get any kind of punishment for doing it?

ItsNotOnlyTheGoodBits · 14/05/2008 16:55

That's just nasty.

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sdjones2 · 14/05/2008 16:55

Am I right in thinking the teacher was way out of line here or am I being over-protective?

Is the first question you will ask the Head Teacher . . .

meemar · 14/05/2008 16:56

She could have been kinder, sounds like she just has a harsh manner. Explain to your DD that sometimes adults can be a bit snappy but she wasn't doing anything wrong by being upset about her bobbles.

NotABanana · 14/05/2008 16:58

I am both surprised and pleased that the TA told you what happened but I am not sure she should have passed comment on the teacher's teaching ability.

I think it was unfair that she had to put them in the bin. She coulkd have brought them home to see if you could fix them.

FWIW if my child had broken them I would want to replace them.

tarantula · 14/05/2008 17:01

Unless you have lots of other examples where the teacher ahs done things like this then I dont think the teacher was way out of line or indeed very nasty. I thnk possibly that she was very busy and didnt see how upset your daughter was. In a class of 30 odd that is quite possible and a quiet word to the teacher would probably resolve this. While we'd all like teachers to know our kids inside out the fact is that on occasions thay get things wrong and this was one of them.

TA on the other hand was way out of line to speak about the teacher like that tho. Esp teh bit abotu 'borstal kids'

eenybeeny · 14/05/2008 17:06

sorry what is borstal kids?

btw I feel for your DD. can you get her some more? My LO isnt in school yet so I dont have experience of teachers and cant really judge about whether or not it was harsh. Sorry though.

juuule · 14/05/2008 17:06

Tarantula, I have more sympathy for Sandshoes dd than I do for the teacher. The fact there are 30 children in the class is no reason to dismiss as ridiculous an obviously distressed 6yo.

branflake81 · 14/05/2008 17:20

Firstly I think the TA was out of order for making those comments about the teacher, true or not. It was very unprofessional.

I don't think the teacher was out of place telling your child to stop messing about - school is school after all but she could have handled it better.

I don't think it's worth kicking up a fuss about.

kid · 14/05/2008 17:31

I think the teacher could have taken the bobbles off your DD and returned them at the end of the day. They might have been able to be fixed and never should have been thrown in the bin.

But I really think the TA should keep work incidents confidential. Thats her opinion of the teacher and not one she should openly share with others.

I'd mention it to the teacher tomorrow, she did over react but may not realise how upset your DD was. Why didn't the TA take them and keep them to one side?

I am a TA and would never make a child throw something that belongs to them away. I'd much rather let them take it home for their parents to decide what to do with it. Hope your DD gets some new bobbles to cheer her up!

wheresthehamster · 14/05/2008 17:34

Not sure why the teacher said the bin and not her drawer or bag but am surprised dd was upset for the WHOLE day. Normally children have quite resilient and just get on with things after a while.

Also this is one reason for having a TA in the class. You immediately step in and deflect the situation. E.g. putting the item in a bag and saying mummy/daddy can fix it later. Maybe getting the boy to apologise (although at carpet time it is very hard for boys to leave girls' hair alone, especially something as tempting as this! He probably didn't mean to break it). It is only if the child won't calm down that the teacher may step in and restore order if the child is really disturbing learning time. Sounds like the teacher was having a tough time and maybe snapped when she shouldn't.

Hope your dd is feeling better now.

wheresthehamster · 14/05/2008 17:34

Not sure why the teacher said the bin and not her drawer or bag but am surprised dd was upset for the WHOLE day. Normally children have quite resilient and just get on with things after a while.

Hope your dd is feeling better now.

wheresthehamster · 14/05/2008 17:34

Just incase you missed it the first time

hatrick · 14/05/2008 17:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lucykate · 14/05/2008 17:41

teacher was really harsh. my dd is growing her fringe out so is wearing an alice style headband to keep it out of her eyes. she was really upset then it broke so her teacher very kindly taped it back together for her. just goes to show how different some teachers attitudes can be!

piratecat · 14/05/2008 17:46

if teaching assistant said that to you, implying that the teacher is hrash, then no wonder your dd got so upset by it.

my dd would have been (same age) had she been a, proud of them, b, they had broken and she was upset/worried, and c, the reaction of the teacher was one that made her feel silly.

grrrr, there's a cow teacher at my dd's school too. i don't know why they bother, its a bit like when you meet medical staff who have no bedside manner, or tact.

cornsilk · 14/05/2008 17:48

That sounds a bit strange with the TA's comment. Why didn't the TA go and sort it out if she was sobbing about the bobbles and she was in the room? Could she be stirring?

savoycabbage · 14/05/2008 17:55

Although she shouldn't have told her to put them in the bin, teacher's are only people. Busy, busy people and you don't know what else she was dealing with at the time. If your DD was crying the TA should have been trying help her. She sounds totally unprofessional and I would be more worried about her role in your daughter's education than that of the teacher.

piratecat · 14/05/2008 17:58

but maybe the teacher is overbearing? Some teaching assistants have to follow the rules, laid down by the teacher.

tissy · 14/05/2008 18:06

I hope your dd is able to get some new bobbles to be proud of, BUT we have a rule that NOTHING you are attached to goes to school- it's just not worth the hassle. Dd's school does not have a "no toys" rule, and the number of times she has taken in a favourite to have it broken/ lost is enormous!

Get her some lovely new bobbles, AND some really plain ones for school.

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